The Shenandoah Knights - WIP

[Sergeant Lowe]

PLease read new Post  here

http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/topic/367281-ia-shenandoah-khights-wip/?do=findComment&comment=5623232

 

This is the updated version of the Shenandoah knight IA

Edited October 27, 2020 by Sergeant Lowe

[Bjorn Firewalker]

You're off to a good start. Does the Victoris System still provide tithes to the Astra Militarum? If not, I imagine the High Lords of Terra will NOT be happy. One possible justification would be the Great Rift causing Warp disruptions that isolated the system, such that nothing less than a Space Marine ship- with its higher grade Warp engines, higher quality Navigators, and Marines onboard to drive off Daemons that manage to board the ship if/when the Gellar field fluctuates- can reach the systems, so those outside the system (like the Munitorum) can't get aid to or from it (including Astra Militarum tithes).

[alfred_the_great]

I'd only note that the names of the four home planets break the "fourth wall" far too easily.

 

And the use of a "real" place name jars significantly.

 

Are there perhaps more subtle or obscure ways of referencing those places?

[Brother Lunkhead]

Looks like a good start. I've only had a chance to give this a quick look, but I'll try to give it another go today and give a more detailed review.

 

All due respect to Brother alfred, I know many prefer to see variations on "real" names. However, the 40Kverse is more full of "real" names than "you can shake a stick at", so there's plenty of precedence.

 

Good luck.... looks like a lotta fun.

[UtariOnzo]

Nice start, and a fellow Son of the Lion!

 

You state in the blurb that the Chapter has close ties with the Ecclesiarchy, how close are we talking? Are members of the clergy invited along to the Chapter’s crusades in order to inspire the marines and serfs? Are there long standing alliances and honor bonds with Sororitas orders?

 

Following from this, as an Ultima founding Chapter, how close are their ties to the Unforgiven? Do they stand outside of it being of Cawl and Guilliman’s influence, or have they managed to join the Long Hunt? With the close ties to the Ecclesiarchy, I can well imagine some deep schisms with their fellow Dark Angel Chapters, especially if the Chapter’s high officers are privy to the secret of the Fallen! That kind of tension could potentially be really cool to see. If not part of the Unforgiven, maybe they’re cast offs similar to the Star Phantoms?

[Brother Lunkhead]

Okay....... I'm back. Sorry it took so long. Yup, you're definitely off to a good start. Just a few observations.....

 

You don't mention the Dark Angels specifically as your parent Chapter until half way through your article. That along with other highlights should be at least part of an overview at the beginning. Brother Utari brings forth some good questions pertaining to their relationship with the Dark Angels.

 

I like the name.....it's different, but it does beg the question, where is or what does Shenandoah pertain to?

[Sergeant Lowe]

tossing up whether to have the chapter as an Imperial Fists successor that fight like the Black Templars