72 replies to this topic

[TechCaptain]

Good gravy there is an absolute trove of detail here on your Chapter!  But let's go on with the basics to start with.

 

First off, a Dark Founding Chapter's always a fun and can be challenging write up to complete, befitting it's place within the Imperium's systems and such, the idea of having them out on the edges of the Eastern Fringe is a good idea, akin to the Death Spectres' duties out in the Ghoul Stars. A quick thing to note, with them guarding the Corridor way out there, what tactical purpose does/could it serve, as it is so far away form the majority of the Imperium's resources and consumers?

 

As there is a lot of information to cover, I like that you've split it up a little into a few posts. It might be worth making the opening post more a detail on the "flavour" of the Bloodmoon Hunters as to their origins etc as you've done, but remove some of the battle honours etc and put them in s separate post (or possibly use the Spoiler tags) to prevent information overload for the reader whilst going through?

 

I can spot a few past/present tense switches within the opening paragraphs, it can make the reading a little jarring, might be worth choosing a particular tense, whether something has happened or is currently happening, then stick with it for the article to help with the flow.

 

With their doctrine of unorthodoxy and not following orders completely to the letter, but more within the guidelines, how does this affect the respect of the battle line Astartes to their commanders? Has this led to minor rebellions to commanders or possibly even some Bloodmoon Hunters going rogue? It'd make for an interesting addition to see how they keep that in check.

 

I'll leave it there for the moment, got a bit more to read beyond the opening post, but I can see you've really worked hard on building up the backstory of this Chapter and major respect to you for that from a fellow dedicated DIY Chapter writer on their own army.

 

Cambrius

 

 

Thanks, it was less a tactical purpose and more that the emperor's tarot/prophecy said they needed to guard it. The reason loss to time mainly. What it practically does is, it is a stable corridor around a warp anomaly and now the great rift happened it is one of the few places to get around the rift, though it is still out of the way. 

How do you do spoiler tags?

Yea I have grammar issues. give me numbers any day lol. If  you guys can help me spot these tense errors I will gladly fix them. 

Awesome job on finding one of there worst flaws and yes rogue Bloodmoon Hunters is a problem. I have been working on their renegade version but honestly for me that writing is harder. But that is in the works. 

Edited by TechCaptain, 05 May 2020 - 06:18 PM.

[TechCaptain]

 

3 Apothecaries

The number seems ridiculously low. Did most of the Chapter's Apothecaries die in battle, and the Hunters have yet to train replacements for them?

 

 

Okay the full company is now in that post

[Bjorn Firewalker]

Master of the Forge - Keeper of Sanctity and traditional Master of the Forge both.

To avoid confusion with a Codex Chapter's Master of the Forge, may I suggest the title "Minister of the Forge" be used instead?

[TechCaptain]

 

Master of the Forge - Keeper of Sanctity and traditional Master of the Forge both.

To avoid confusion with a Codex Chapter's Master of the Forge, may I suggest the title "Minister of the Forge" be used instead?

 

 

Thanks again, and so it will be. i think I originally left it Master to keep with the Master, Journeyman, and Apprentice theme of ranks but Minister works for unlike the lords who have a more command role, the Minister of the Forge is a bit beyond field deployments anymore. 

 

 

Artificer Helmets=

Skull Helmet - His helmet, whose face plate had been carefully worked into the visage of a human skull, with dim red bulbs peeping out from cavernous eye sockets. Copper circuitry had been inlaid, running from each temple, down the orbital, across the cheek till then ended suddenly on either side of the jaw. The circuits had glowed a continuous electric blue in combat, but when hiding in the dark, they only occasionally showed a brief blue spark running the length of the circuit.

Edited by TechCaptain, 05 May 2020 - 07:07 PM.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

What distinguishes the Skull Helmet from any Chaplain's skull helm? Does it grant its wearer any bonuses, like a Blood Angels Sanguinary Guard member's death mask, or the Blood Angels Chapter Master's Death Mask of Sanguinius?

It should also have a name to distinguish it, e.g., the "Face of Death", "Skull Helmet of the Primarch".

[TechCaptain]

What distinguishes the Skull Helmet from any Chaplain's skull helm? Does it grant its wearer any bonuses, like a Blood Angels Sanguinary Guard member's death mask, or the Blood Angels Chapter Master's Death Mask of Sanguinius?

It should also have a name to distinguish it, e.g., the "Face of Death", "Skull Helmet of the Primarch".

It is mainly the copper circuitry inlaid into it. I figure it provides a bonus intimidation factor lore wise especially with the Bloodmoon Hunters penchant from attacking from ambush or shadows. beyond that I haven't thought of many bonuses, do you have recommendations? 

Good idea I should rename it, though I think it probably should reflect a more machine like theme (them being machine cult rather than normal Imperial Cult or Astartes usual. ) What is a machine's death called?

[Bjorn Firewalker]

I haven't thought of many bonuses, do you have recommendations?

Personally, I'd copy-paste the Special Rules for Dante's Death Mask of Sanguinius, from Codex: Blood Angels.

Good idea I should rename it, though I think it probably should reflect a more machine like theme (them being machine cult rather than normal Imperial Cult or Astartes usual. ) What is a machine's death called?

Scrapping? Retirement? For the former, maybe "Mask of the Scrapyard Siren," and (as flavor text) to view it is to know the death of the machine that is one's body, beckons for the Bloodmoon Hunters' enemies? For the latter, maybe "Helmet of the Retiring Hunter" (a direct reference to the term used for killing replicants, in Blade Runner)?

[TechCaptain]

 

I haven't thought of many bonuses, do you have recommendations?

Personally, I'd copy-paste the Special Rules for Dante's Death Mask of Sanguinius, from Codex: Blood Angels.

Good idea I should rename it, though I think it probably should reflect a more machine like theme (them being machine cult rather than normal Imperial Cult or Astartes usual. ) What is a machine's death called?

Scrapping? Retirement? For the former, maybe "Mask of the Scrapyard Siren," and (as flavor text) to view it is to know the death of the machine that is one's body, beckons for the Bloodmoon Hunters' enemies? For the latter, maybe "Helmet of the Retiring Hunter" (a direct reference to the term used for killing replicants, in Blade Runner)?

 

Good idea for using that Death Mask Rule set.


I like the latter one it goes well with the Artificer quotes I have.  Helmet of Retiring Hunters as a variation saying they 'retire' their foes, grant final peace, and inspire those near the end... and I love that Flavor text. I am definitely going to use it. 

 

 

 

"Honored brothers the xenos and the heretic shall bleed and reap only death for we will send them back into the void from which they came."

— Unknown Bloodmoon Hunters Forge Lord

"For your sins against the Emperor;"
"False Brother, We Detest Thee."
"For the shame you bring upon your Gene-Father;"
"False Brother, We Detest Thee."
"For abandoning your duty;"
"False Brother, We Detest Thee."
"For embracing mutation;"
"False Brother, We Detest Thee."
"For worshiping the darkness;"
"False Brother, We Detest Thee."
"For all these crimes, I cast you from the Emperor's Light. Your name is dead. Your memory is gone to us."
"False Brother, We Detest Thee, We Cast You Out, We Turn From You.""

— Rights of Detestation
Artificer Leictreach


Helmet of the Retiring Hunter - One of the symbols of the Artificer, Copper circuitry had been inlaid, running from each temple, down the orbital, across the cheek till then ended suddenly on either side of the jaw. The circuits had glowed a continuous electric blue in combat, but when hiding in the dark, they only occasionally showed a brief blue spark running the length of the circuit. The face plate had been carefully worked into the visage of a human skull, with dim glowing bulbs peeping out from cavernous eye sockets. Each is a unique artifact of a full fledged artificer. To view the glowing skull is to know the death of the machine that is one's body, beckons for the Bloodmoon Hunters' enemies to retire from this life ever more. 

 

Edited by TechCaptain, 05 May 2020 - 08:21 PM.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

The Rites of Detestation are well-written.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

Considering how similar the Bloodmoon Hunters are to the Iron Hands depicted in older Editions of the game, maybe the Chapter should simply declare itself an Iron Hands successor. You are free to add ambiguity to that declaration, via those outside the Chapter- certain factions in the Inquisition and the AdMech, other Iron Hands successors, other Chapters. Maybe have Deathwatch Apothecaries note unusual divergence in the Bloodmoon Hunters' gene-seed when they analyze that recovered from Hunters who died in service to the Deathwatch, suggesting the Hunters have chimeric gene-seed? An AdMech rune priest (studying machines' "activation runes," and not to be confused with a Space Wolves equivalent to a Librarian) comparing images of Bloodmoon Hunters Chapter relics to those of pre-Heresy Raven Guard, and noting striking similarities? An Inquisitor who once fought a the Night Lords warband, noting the Bloodmoon Hunters use similar tactics to the Traitor Marines, and have a similar obsession with hunting?

[TechCaptain]

Considering how similar the Bloodmoon Hunters are to the Iron Hands depicted in older Editions of the game, maybe the Chapter should simply declare itself an Iron Hands successor. You are free to add ambiguity to that declaration, via those outside the Chapter- certain factions in the Inquisition and the AdMech, other Iron Hands successors, other Chapters. Maybe have Deathwatch Apothecaries note unusual divergence in the Bloodmoon Hunters' gene-seed when they analyze that recovered from Hunters who died in service to the Deathwatch, suggesting the Hunters have chimeric gene-seed? An AdMech rune priest (studying machines' "activation runes," and not to be confused with a Space Wolves equivalent to a Librarian) comparing images of Bloodmoon Hunters Chapter relics to those of pre-Heresy Raven Guard, and noting striking similarities? An Inquisitor who once fought a the Night Lords warband, noting the Bloodmoon Hunters use similar tactics to the Traitor Marines, and have a similar obsession with hunting?

They started off as Iron Hands successors and they do declare themselves Iron Hands, I think I had that somewhere.... Might have been deleted accidentally. But the Iron Hands and everyone else says they are too different. I am definitely going to use your suggestions to make it more ambiguous. 


(Inspiration was taken from the similarities between Emperor's Children and Iron Hands for Geneseed with tactic ideas revolving around Hunting, Raven Guard, and Alpha Legion mainly with heavy dose of Technology.)

[TechCaptain]

I added notes saying basically the Inquisition is investigating the Bloodmoon Hunters, adding the oddities they know about. Further I added to the Geneseed piece claimed to be Iron Hands.

[TechCaptain]

a lot of formatting now complete as well. The color of the knee pad that reflects their company is now the color header for where I list out some numbers.

[Brother Cambrius]

So I've taken some time to review the opening post and beyond over the past few days. (great formatting on that first post by the way. Very friendly to the eyes of a new reader and not immediately overwhelming. ). Congrats on the YouTube feature as well!

 

It's a challenge to work out what extra feedback to add in places, as this has so much detail that has grown over your time creating this Chapter, which is always a long and arduous task. The idea of Chaplain Techmarines is a fun and unique concept I really like and a lot of what is included really strikes home that the Chapter likely very likely to be inheritors of Ferrus Manus' geneseed, enhanced and mutated form their Dark Founding origins to cause the curse they suffer from (could they possibly have been spliced with some Emperor's Children in there with their desire for perfection? The two Legions were very close after all prior to the Heresy...).

 

On the subject of their homeworld and how it used to be a Death Guard outpost prior to the Heresy and then beyond, are there any inherent risks of Nurgle's boys returning to spread the good word of their new Grandfather?

 

Something to note with the aspirants taking on and capturing a Master, that is a touch risk for one particular reason, which was pointed out to me when I tried a similar idea aeons ago to one of my homebrews; to capturet a Master presents the psychological implication in the mind of the Aspirant that they are superior to their veteran brethren, having also been drugged etc. This could very much lead to disrespect and divergence from their commanders' orders later down the line. Adding into the mutation of the Bloodmoon Hunters' geneseed and the curse from that, it could lead to a major rift and internal war within the Chapter. Would it be viable to possibly utilise the cyborg warriors as that would be a major test for an Aspirant drugged up and it wouldn't matter much if they slay the cyborg as their life was already forfeit and are expendable?

On the subject of the Sanguis Portis, if it is a corridor through the Cicatrix Maledictum, have the Chapter seen increased traffic starting to arrive to try and traverse it into Imperium Nihilus? This could lead to further interaction with the Imperium's myriad forces, or possibly that is a way the Chapter finally received their Primaris reinforcements? I'd expect Guilliman to really push for extra firepower and such being there to defend and protect such a vital lynchpin for the Imperium, even if it is on the edge of the known area.

 

The character sheets are a nice little addition too, it gives some great insight on the character and style of the Bloodmoon Hunters. The Rights of Detestation are sublime too, I could easily hear that in my head of a captured renegade being given their final rites before their judgement before the Emperor Himself.

 

Cambrius

Edited by Brother Cambrius, 12 May 2020 - 01:19 AM.

[TechCaptain]

The idea of Chaplain Techmarines is a fun and unique concept I really like and a lot of what is included really strikes home that the Chapter likely very likely to be inheritors of Ferrus Manus' geneseed, enhanced and mutated form their Dark Founding origins to cause the curse they suffer from (could they possibly have been spliced with some Emperor's Children in there with their desire for perfection? The two Legions were very close after all prior to the Heresy...).

 
Thank you, it was Emperor's Children and Iron Hands who inspired them. Maybe I can work in more notes or something giving dark hints and portents or something.

On the subject of their homeworld and how it used to be a Death Guard outpost prior to the Heresy and then beyond, are there any inherent risks of Nurgle's boys returning to spread the good word of their new Grandfather?

 

Actually yes, and I just realize I hadn't added it to the history yet. So The location of Ishtar Subsector/Damuterr System which is home to the Bloodmoon Hunters is near (ish) to what is now called the Plague stars and because of the sudden rise of Death Guard in local space (The whole attacking T'au and Imperium) has made the system much harder to guard. There are secrets on the planet and around that system even the Bloodmoon Hunters don't know. (And neither do I yet, as I am trying to figure out how they fit together in a coherent story.)

Something to note with the aspirants taking on and capturing a Master, that is a touch risk for one particular reason, which was pointed out to me when I tried a similar idea aeons ago to one of my homebrews; to capturet a Master presents the psychological implication in the mind of the Aspirant that they are superior to their veteran brethren, having also been drugged etc. This could very much lead to disrespect and divergence from their commanders' orders later down the line. Adding into the mutation of the Bloodmoon Hunters' geneseed and the curse from that, it could lead to a major rift and internal war within the Chapter. Would it be viable to possibly utilise the cyborg warriors as that would be a major test for an Aspirant drugged up and it wouldn't matter much if they slay the cyborg as their life was already forfeit and are expendable?

I like this idea a lot better than my Master Capturing one. You made really good points, what I am leaning to is the Master who is in charge of recruiting at that time will control a group of cyborgs, the good ones defeat their foes, the best find the master controlling the cyborgs. (thus completing the hunt without directly challenging the Master but proven skills of tracking and working information at a higher level.)

On the subject of the Sanguis Portis, if it is a corridor through the Cicatrix Maledictum, have the Chapter seen increased traffic starting to arrive to try and traverse it into Imperium Nihilus? This could lead to further interaction with the Imperium's myriad forces, or possibly that is a way the Chapter finally received their Primaris reinforcements? I'd expect Guilliman to really push for extra firepower and such being there to defend and protect such a vital lynchpin for the Imperium, even if it is on the edge of the known area.

 

This is indeed why it is important for them to get additional Primaris. Several of them have crossed the Rubricon even though the crusade barely made it to their location. So they didn't get a bunch of Astartes help as of yet.... But the amount of Astra Militarum has grown significantly causing all sorts of local issues as the far away sector has been a fairly unique sort that puritians would love to purge lets say but radicals love. Saying that all the reinforcement just recently started happening and they are still lower than say Vigilus because where they are at is the very edge of known space. it gives me some good ideas of how to expand them driving the timeline forward.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

Thought to add some ideas on why the Bloodmoon Hunters have a strange organization:

The Bloodmoon Hunters claim they are a Fourth Founding Chapter, and their First Chapter Master was a Terra-born Iron Hand named "Blutmond Jaeger," a remarkable individual with qualifications as an Apothecary and a Techmarine. Then-Centurion Jaeger supposedly survived the Drop Site Massacre, witnessed his Primarch's death, and swore vengeance upon the Traitor Legions responsible, ruthlessly salvaging weapons- and more- taken from fallen enemies and allies alike to accomplish this goal.

The "salvaging" is meant to explain why the Bloodmoon Hunters have Raven Guard Legion relics in their armory, use Night Lords tactics, and apparently have chimeric gene-seed.

The Iron Hands deny ever having an individual named "Blutmond Jaeger" among their number; note it was unlikely an Apothecary would apply to be trained as a Techmarine, and vice-versa, as time devoted to one role would diminish one's ability to perform another; and raise the possibility the name is but an alias, as Blutmond meant "blood moon," and Jaeger "hunter," in the pre-Imperial language of German.

Neither the Ordo Astartes of the Inquisition, or the Adeptus Mechanicus, have records affirming the existence of a Chapter bearing the Bloodmoon Hunters colors, before 990.M35, which apparently supports rumors the Chapter is of the 13th Founding instead of the Fourth.

[TechCaptain]

Thought to add some ideas on why the Bloodmoon Hunters have a strange organization:

The Bloodmoon Hunters claim they are a Fourth Founding Chapter, and their First Chapter Master was a Terra-born Iron Hand named "Blutmond Jaeger," a remarkable individual with qualifications as an Apothecary and a Techmarine. Then-Centurion Jaeger supposedly survived the Drop Site Massacre, witnessed his Primarch's death, and swore vengeance upon the Traitor Legions responsible, ruthlessly salvaging weapons- and more- taken from fallen enemies and allies alike to accomplish this goal.

The "salvaging" is meant to explain why the Bloodmoon Hunters have Raven Guard Legion relics in their armory, use Night Lords tactics, and apparently have chimeric gene-seed.

The Iron Hands deny ever having an individual named "Blutmond Jaeger" among their number; note it was unlikely an Apothecary would apply to be trained as a Techmarine, and vice-versa, as time devoted to one role would diminish one's ability to perform another; and raise the possibility the name is but an alias, as Blutmond meant "blood moon," and Jaeger "hunter," in the pre-Imperial language of German.

Neither the Ordo Astartes of the Inquisition, or the Adeptus Mechanicus, have records affirming the existence of a Chapter bearing the Bloodmoon Hunters colors, before 990.M35, which apparently supports rumors the Chapter is of the 13th Founding instead of the Fourth.

I like this better than my First Artificer Folsom. I am a little dubious of any of them claiming 4th Founding origins but the rest of that is awesome. I am thinking I can rework it a little bit to have it a bit later having such an individual to have existed at some other massacre or believed to have existed. Just reading that is making have quite a few ideas, and some your earlier suggestions is making think maybe I should start a series of Inquisitorial and Mechanicus Reports as their own little sub thing. It might be a fun little thing.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

I like this better than my First Artificer Folsom.

Thank you.

I am a little dubious of any of them claiming 4th Founding origins

According to Lexicanum, the Fourth Founding occurred after the War of the Beast, and seems the latest a Horus Heresy veteran would be present for; IIRC, Abaddon's First Black Crusade was launched after the Orks were defeated, and we know the Black Templars' First High Marshal Sigismund died at Abaddon's hands then.

Besides, the number four has significance in Chinese culture (mine), as its pronunciation is similar to the word for "death," making it an unlucky number.

I should start a series of Inquisitorial and Mechanicus Reports as their own little sub thing.

That may be interesting to read. Will Adam Clarke be one of the Inquisitors investigating the Bloodmoon Hunters- possibly as an "inside man" who can pass warnings to his allies in the Chapter, sabotaging the Inquisition's efforts? Or will those Inquisitors be members of a different coven- one whose goals include investigating Inquisitor Clarke for the latter's suspicious contacts?

[TechCaptain]

I am a little dubious of any of them claiming 4th Founding origins

According to Lexicanum, the Fourth Founding occurred after the War of the Beast, and seems the latest a Horus Heresy veteran would be present for; IIRC, Abaddon's First Black Crusade was launched after the Orks were defeated, and we know the Black Templars' First High Marshal Sigismund died at Abaddon's hands then.

Besides, the number four has significance in Chinese culture (mine), as its pronunciation is similar to the word for "death," making it an unlucky number.

Interesting, That kinds of match Mjorn's Sect of Absolute Truth in which a Iron Hands Veteran who was in the Deathwatch sort of founded. Though no proof of his existence is around and supposedly died before the War of the Beast. That being said the problem i see is 4th Founding is so much earlier than 13th Founding we are talking almost a 2,000 year gap. I do like the significance of the number 4. It certainly creates more threads to pull.

I should start a series of Inquisitorial and Mechanicus Reports as their own little sub thing.

That may be interesting to read. Will Adam Clarke be one of the Inquisitors investigating the Bloodmoon Hunters- possibly as an "inside man" who can pass warnings to his allies in the Chapter, sabotaging the Inquisition's efforts? Or will those Inquisitors be members of a different coven- one whose goals include investigating Inquisitor Clarke for the latter's suspicious contacts?

I hadn't decided anything particular yet. So Inquisitor Adam Clarke is suppose to be part of a conclave that is roughly divided between puritians and redicals, so maybe a combination of both? Adam Clarke is not much in having a trusting nature but having the Bloodmoon Hunters in debit to him would be something he would be inclined to have, especially since he keeps a Artificer with him.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

So Inquisitor Adam Clarke is suppose to be part of a conclave that is roughly divided between puritians and redicals, so maybe a combination of both?

Such a conclave seems literally self-defeating, as the Puritans and Radicals sabotage each other's efforts, maybe even accusing each other of heresy and treason, assassinating conclave members from the other faction to diminish their rivals' influence, etc. Reading about this conclave will be like reading A Game of Thrones.

[TechCaptain]

So Inquisitor Adam Clarke is suppose to be part of a conclave that is roughly divided between puritians and redicals, so maybe a combination of both?

Such a conclave seems literally self-defeating, as the Puritans and Radicals sabotage each other's efforts, maybe even accusing each other of heresy and treason, assassinating conclave members from the other faction to diminish their rivals' influence, etc. Reading about this conclave will be like reading A Game of Thrones.

You are quite right. They end up having a minor civil war after the rift when a few Inquisitors Fall to Chaos.

One of my Inquisitors (Belladonna. I know the name is bad just haven't given her a better one yet. Names are hard for me.) Killed the Lord General of Tarakon system (a Knight World with a Schola Moon) because he listened to the Knight House and supported them more often than not. She is of the Puritian faction that is looking to rebalance the Imperium to maintain the Status Quo.

While another Inquisitor of the Ordo Astra literally went crazy because he kept looking into the Anomalies in the sector.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

Did Inquisitor Clarke takeover the Conclave by playing the Radicals against the Puritans, e.g., killing members of one faction and then planting evidence a member of the other faction was responsible, purging the Conclave of those who refused to "think logically," i.e., submit to Clarke's leadership?

And I have to wonder why the Conclave was half-Radical, half-Puritan. Sheer stupidity on its founders' part? Or Darwinian genius, i.e., its founders intentionally setup a Conclave prone to infighting, as a test to see who was both intelligent and ruthless enough to come out on top?

[TechCaptain]

Did Inquisitor Clarke takeover the Conclave by playing the Radicals against the Puritans, e.g., killing members of one faction and then planting evidence a member of the other faction was responsible, purging the Conclave of those who refused to "think logically," i.e., submit to Clarke's leadership?

And I have to wonder why the Conclave was half-Radical, half-Puritan. Sheer stupidity on its founders' part? Or Darwinian genius, i.e., its founders intentionally setup a Conclave prone to infighting, as a test to see who was both intelligent and ruthless enough to come out on top?

It was more too many Radicals gathered in one spot so Puritian Inquisitors came to be a 'influence' on organizations that were looking to become more and more important as the Nids, T'au, and Necron threats in the area emerged. Clarke at this point isn't in charge mostly because he doesn't want to be. But his faction of Xenos Hybris is fairly on top as one of his mentors is in charge and he is now considered to be one of the senior members. Lets take this to his thread?

[TechCaptain]

Finally added a Rumors and Investigation Notes Section to my Wiki page for these guys which includes the three investigation Notes that I plan on expanding at some point and that Blutmond Jeager Rumor.

[TechCaptain]

Seems like a good spot to show what I am doing to represent this Chapter.

Raptor School Hunters

Specifically Iron Blood Hunters

Lupine School Hunters

Archanid School Hunters

Leadership, Specialists, Veterans, and Primaris

Group Shots