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The Something Something marines - an IA in slow motion


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#26
Graceless

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As usual, I'm unfashionably late to the partyblush.png Let me start with how cool the foundation of your chapter looks. I'm a sucker for a knights in shinning armor story, and yours fits a great niche in the 40Kverse. It's not Imperial Fists/Black Templars Knightly or Dark Angels Knightly. It fits right in with the classical literature (Ivanhoe, Le Morte d'Arhur, Song of Rolan) and classic movies (El Cid, Excalibur, Kingdom of Heaven (director's cutmsn-wink.gif)). I'll just comment in post order.

 

Chapter Culture, Ethos, Combat Doctrine all look good. I like the formality of the culture, which fits in nicely with the Medieval feel. Your "Never Temper, Never Relent, Never Forsake" ethos is also very fitting. This will make for a great test of character and ingenuity when the Chapter is in a tight spot. Combat Doctrine looks solid. Range over rage looks sound. Lack of rage is not a problem. The rage is more fitting for the likes of the Space Wolves and Blood Angels foundings as it is so much a part of their legacy and genetic make up.  I do think there's room for individual and squad level knightly quests, and I hope you will touch on that more.

 

Yep, I'd like to have quests involved in the Chapter lore/beliefs. Some penitent quests for marines/squads/etc who've screwed up for example.

 

 

It's all very fitting for rank, ceremonial, and honor titles, so I hope you keep those. Titles like king, baron, earl, etc. might be pushing the obvious a bit. I think you can come up with something a little more exotic, yet fitting to the theme.

 

I'm thinking of each company have an "order" title as well though it might not always be called such - eg the 1st Host are the Knights of the True-Iron banner (and there'll be some background and rationale for each). With them will come titles that should be suitably archaic and fancy. I think a few of them will be earl/king/etc but "spruced up" and not consistent across the Chapter. These weren't designed after all but developed and earned over time.

 

 

Chapter history is good. However, there are some areas that need tinkering with: 

 

The Shield Argent Chapter’s surviving records date back to the 35th Millennium however the Chapter is known to have been born in the Second Founding amongst the numerous scions of the Ultramarines.

 

Second founding chapters are pretty well established. This isn't necessarily a problem if you expand the explanation beyond lost records. Perhaps third or forth founding might be easier and more credible if you want to keep the founding story tight and simple.

 

Khera’Nex xenos type

 

I may have missed something here. Are these of your own invention or are they established in 40K lore somewhere? I'll be very embarrassed if it's the laterblush.png wacko.png If it's the former, you should expand on it.

 

Barrow Tell, a vast and ancient piece of machinery dating from the Great Crusade

 

This sounds more like dark age tech than crusade era tech. Perhaps the Khera'Nex were fist encountered earlier in human expansion and thought expunged as a threat long ago.

 

It all looks very promising and I look forward to seeing moreyes.gif 

Yeah, not sure about which founding they would have thought they came from. Has to be very early but I guess it doesn't need to be 2nd per se. Maybe I'll just lump for 3rd and be done; it's still so far back that the history could be lost. Being as they are actually 2nd founding from the DA that'll make the sudden change to everything they thought even more wrenching.

 

The Khera'Nex are mine rather than canon. I need to flesh them out more and put a side box/info thingy in my final IA. Got a bunch of ideas for them but not nailed it down yet, maybe a good topic for a future post; get the crowd's view and input.

 

The Barrow Tell fortress is a key part of the lost history of the Chapter (which I shall expand upon shortly - work allowing) and the two mechanicus machines inside, the emitter and the predictor, both date to at least the Great Crusade and were originally ship-born. I couldn't decide whether they should be pre-crusade tech or the result of a particularly ingenious tech-priest who designed and operated them. These days the functions of the machines would be mixed up amidst far too much ritual and they are therefore barely used correctly let alone to their full potential.


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My slowly developing IA: http://www.bolterand...in-slow-motion/

 

The Something Something marines WIP thread: http://www.bolterand...ething-marines/

 

Some random fanfic: Death Guard and some psykic shenanigans: http://www.bolterand...364725-panacea/


#27
Lord_Caerolion

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I love the idea of contradictory records. It's something so quintessentially 40k. My friend is doing something similar for his Steel Janizars (mentioned in my IA), where their own records state they were created in M35 or so, but they have an oath of allegiance with a nearby Knight world, whose records state the oath was formed in M32. 

 

I'll also add that the Second Founding Chapters we are aware of aren't a definitive list. The list we're shown in the codexes is taken from the "Apocrypha of Davio", a source from M33, and is firstly, an in-universe source, with no guarantee of perfect accuracy, (in fact some codexes even mention an undated "Apocrypha of Skaros" that mentions the Ultramarines as having 23 Second Founding successors, but not naming them, compared to the 8 named successors in Davio).

Secondly, it was originally from a real-world time when the Legions only numbered in the tens of thousands at most (fairly certain the numbers had the Ultramarines Legion as reaching a high of 15,000 or so), so the Ultramarines only splitting into 8 Successors made perfect sense, compared to the revised numbers where even the smallest Legion, the Salamanders, had 83,000 Marines at the outset of the Heresy, with most being around 150,000 or so, with the Ultramarines around 200,000.

"Missing" Second Founding Chapters is entirely believable, in my own opinion at least.


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#28
Brother Lunkhead

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Thanks for the clarification on the Khera'Nex. It's a very fine idea and a worthy Lovecraftian threat. 

 

The idea of the Barrow Tell mechanism originally being ship born is sound, however due to it's level of sophistication, I think it's origin laying in the dark age of technology is more probable.

 

Justification for 2nd Founding origin looks very plausible.


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#29
Graceless

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What are the Khera’Nex xenos?

Well, that’s a good question and not one I have a good answer for. I’ve got a bunch of ideas but not 100% sure on them yet.

What we do know:
  • They “swarm” – this I the term used for their invasions so would suggest hordes/scuttling/etc
  • They previously inhabited/infested the entire Raddeus Expanse and were driven out during the Great Crusade. This effort was never completed due to the heresy and the local war (to be expanded in my “actual” history rather than what was thought to be known).
  • They are drawn towards technology – specifically emissions of radiation (of all sorts) and can be lured towards particular bands on the energy spectrum if the “signal” is strong enough. This is how they are made to attack the Chapter fortress (the Barrow Tell).
  • They travel by unknown means and appear on a planet’s surface via a “meld-gate” – the name derives from the Great Crusade forces fighting though it’s meaning/reason is lost to time. This is similar to the web-way portals of the Aeldari but they aren’t fixed to a location and appear when an invasion swarm attack.
  • The invasions are inconsistent (in size and frequency) and, were it not for the lure set in the Barrow Tell, they would not always be on Rejiska – that’s the chapter homeworld TBW. Despite this they are predictable, under the Barrow Tell is a mechanicus device that is able to predict, to a reasonable level of accuracy, the size and timing of the next swarm.
What don’t we “know” but I think. So therefore much more able to be changed/ignored without messing up any other parts of the story and history thus far.
6. I am thinking that there will be evidence of the Khera’Nex entirely ignoring human planets/settlements etc if their technology is pre-industrial revolution – it’s electricity that they seem to hate.
7. They are not psykic – well, I don’t think they are anyway. Certainly there’s no chaos taint issues. These are just xenos.
8. Their own technology is organic but not tyranid-organic, more eldar-organic. Maybe. OR their technology is weirdly oldfashioned, think 17th century earth, eg blackpowder?
9. They do not try to communicate with humans at all. Never shown any inclination to do so.
10. I think their anti-technology thing is religious/ethical rather than rational as it were.

Where they come from (as in “inspiration”) and some of what I think they look like(ish).
11. When I was first collecting GW stuff, back in the early 90s, Skaven came out and I wished I could afford to collect them as well as my rudimentary ultramarines. I did get a box of 6 clanrats (or somesuch) and then decided to equip them with bolters and 40k weapons so they could fight my marines. So ratmen/skaven is an inspiration.
12. In a Steven Erikson book (I can’t remember which one) a group of soldiers run into a temple, I think or maybe a tomb, and fight a set of scaled cats. I quite like the idea of a mammal look (eg giant rats) but scaled rather than furred. Or a mix of the two.
13. I imagined that the lowest tier of the Khera’Nex society are the most ratlike, maybe still on 4 legs and the higher the tier, the bigger, more upright, more scaled. I also imagined they might have further limbs and other notable signs of status. Whether the scales are due to their rise in ranks (maybe something is done to them?) or the other way round (that having scales means they are automatically of a higher status), I haven’t decided.


Anyway, that’s the Khera’Nex thus far. Ideas and thoughts welcome!

Edited by Graceless, 04 August 2020 - 09:03 PM.

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My slowly developing IA: http://www.bolterand...in-slow-motion/

 

The Something Something marines WIP thread: http://www.bolterand...ething-marines/

 

Some random fanfic: Death Guard and some psykic shenanigans: http://www.bolterand...364725-panacea/


#30
Grey Hunter Ydalir

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Would it be easier to use the Q'orl instead of creating a new xenos as an adversary, though they aren't quite the same as your creation so if you've decided to use their traits to directly contest and vex your chapter, that's fair and they won't be a valid choice.

 

The only reason I mention them as it might be easier to use a not well known but already existing foe for the Imperium that exists in the lore that you can draw on. Adding to that there is a decent amount of mystery to the Q'orl due to their innately un-knowable nature, biology and technology.

 

Just a thought I wanted to throw out there.

 

All that said, as a fan of Lovecraftian influence as well as something I've been using in my HRE inspired chapter, I'm also a fan of this idea. thumbsup.gif


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The Octaguide.
The Thousand Marine Myth.

On the scale mismatch of bolts and bolters by Coldfyre

Commissar Molotov's Castigators - Essential reading for IA Creation.

"...I have seen the birth of this world and I have seen its death. I walked with the first men and I shared a beer with the last. For me everyone is both old and young at the same time as a million lifetimes pass before my eyes and humanity is like the grains of sand in the desert, each breath to me a sigh in the vast never-ending vacumn of space."
-Silver Phoenix


#31
Graceless

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Hi Ydalir, thanks for the feedback.

 

I've just gone and done some reading up on the Q'orl, I think I had heard of them before but completely forgotten about them, but I'm going to stick with my home-brew aliens. I see what you mean about them being a close fit for my background but I guess I want to be able to re-write the Khera'Nex whenever I want, and to whatever I want, to fit the Chapter background so wouldn't want to be tied down to a canon xenos race.

 

Thanks for the idea/thought though! Always appreciate another's views and ideas.

 

Graceless


  • Grey Hunter Ydalir likes this

My slowly developing IA: http://www.bolterand...in-slow-motion/

 

The Something Something marines WIP thread: http://www.bolterand...ething-marines/

 

Some random fanfic: Death Guard and some psykic shenanigans: http://www.bolterand...364725-panacea/


#32
Brother Lunkhead

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The Q'orl are a very interesting xeno threat, but I'm glad you are sticking with your Khera'Nex as the nemesis of choice for your Chapteryes.gif  The Liber can always use a new xeno race for its ranks.


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