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Looking for feedback please - Rift Wardens


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#1
Julgolax

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Index Astartes
 
Chapter Name: Rift Wardens
Progenitor: Imperial Fists
Founding: Ultima
Chapter Master: Jaleus Novath
Homeworld: Gholus
Fortress-monastery: Arx Pugnus
Colors: Bronze armor, White aquila, markings & weapon casings, Purple cloth
Insignia: a white shield with a purple diagonal line
Strength: *Redacted*
Specialty: Siege Warfare, Urban Combat
Battlecry: "From spire to street, scour the Emperor's realm!"
Motto: "To stand watch of the hungering abyss with weapon in hand is our honor and duty. We are wardens of the rift."
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History
The Rift Wardens chapter was founded during the early part of M.42 as a part of the Ultima Founding. The geneseed of Rogal Dorn was used to create this chapter who are based on the Feudal World of Gholus. The chapter was created in the aftermath of the Indomitus Crusade as many others of the Ultima Founding. Their homeworld was chosen for it's position in relation to the Cicatrix Maledictum and for it's relatively healthy, stable population.
 
The world of Gholus had been spared most of the corrupting influence of the opening of the Great Rift by the presence of a Knight World in the adjacent solar system, who were the original colonists of the planet many centuries ago. With the Indomitus Crusade a contingent of Imperial Fists from the Crusade Fleets came to the planet and saved it's population from Drukhari raiders who had taken advantage of the cataclysmic events prior.
 
The planet's relatively primitive inhabitants had managed to hold out for some weeks against a far superior foe with nought but crude shock-weapons, other archaeotech weaponry and courage. The Imperial Fists were impressed with the soldiers there and recommended to the fleet that the world be considered for their own recruitment. The planet was however too valuable for a mere recruitment world and it was decided that a more permanent fortification was warranted. The chapter was created using the Belisarian samples of Rogal Dorn's geneseed and work quickly began within the decade to fortify the planet and make it ready for a new Founding.
 
 
Organization
The chapter has endeavored to follow the edicts of the Codex Astartes but has made several significant changes to it's composition and disposition of several companies as well as its' markings. Several of these changes are to reflect the nature of their defensive position along the perilous edge of the Cicatrix Maledictum and their chapter's solidifying culture.
 
The First Company, known by the sobriquette "The Shieldbearers" serves both as the Honor Guard and veteran fighting unit of the chapter. They are the last line of defense and are each tasked with defending the chapter's inner citadel which holds their apothecarion and reclusiam, the blood and soul of the chapter. They have yet to be seen together as a whole outside of the chapter's great hall for ceremony. The Chapter Master has chosen to not issue a captain for the First Company for he believes it is his duty to lead the most veteran of his brothers. Some rumors may suggest this was out of vainglory or mistrust of his brothers to lead in his stead but such notions are met with harsh censure by chapter leadership.
 
The Eight Company, known by the sobriquette "The Huntsmen" serves both as the reserve of Close Support Reserve Company and as the chapter's Fast Attack strike force. Like the 4th Company, they are always in orbital reserve and charged with reacting to enemy threats at a moment's notice. They also share the honor of being assigned to the chapter's flagship, the Strike Cruiser The Foxhound.
 
The Seventh Company, known by the sobriquette "The Proselytes" serves as the chapter's primary recruiting company. This deviation from the Codex Astartes is because of the nature of the 10th Company in the chapter as well as the desire for diverse combat experience for the developing Scouts alongside the Battleline reservists. Captain Vhale Othon and Master Jaleus Novath decided upon this as the best course to take for the future generations of the chapter.
 
The Tenth Company, known by the sobriquette "The Shadowsbane" serve exclusively as the chapter's reconnaissance and intelligence operatives. The company serves this role with nearly complete autonomy and are answerable only to the Chapter Master himself. This significant deviation from the Codex Astartes' notes on the 10th Company operations means they may yet be called into question but such risk has yet proved worthwhile. Captain Abendis Loth has proven an invaluable asset to the chapter and under his guidance the brothers of the Shadowsbane have won more victories than any other company yet. The autonomy with which they act comes at both high cost and high reward but it is a price that each member takes an oath to accept.
 
The chapter's markings deviate from the codex only slightly, centering around the more uniform appearance of each brother. The left knee pad is white and is the location for the company number in gothic numeral. The chapter's squad type and number are designated by their right shoulder pad in smaller, white symbols and gothic numerals. Bladeguard Veterans are further distinguished by the presence of a small aillette which is inprinted with the chapter's insignia in reverse colors.
 
Note: The chapter is currently under strength and is still building it's forces. Below is their intended layout which may change with time. New equipment and training requisitions partly shape the future of the chapter in the Age Indomitus.
 
Command
Chapter Master Jaleus Novath
Honor Guard: The Shieldbearers (1st Company)
Ecleon Caverni (Chapter Master's personal Equerry)
Judicier Poleus Edarth (Chapter Master's personal bodyguard)
Serfs, Equerries & Servitors (Divided amongst each starship, company and office)
 
Fleet
4 Strike Cruisers
8 Gladius Frigates
5 Hunter Destroyers
12 Overlord Gunships
 
Armory
Olseus Eridyn, Master of the Forge
9 Primaris Techmarines
380 Servitors
8 Hammerfall Bunkers
12 Firestrike Servo Turrets
1 Astraeus
3 Repulsor Executioners (1x3 Armored Spearhead)
9 Impulsor Gladiators (3x3 Armored Squadrons)
10 Repulsor APC (1 per company)
20 Impulsors APC (2 per company)
9 Storm Speeders
 
Reclusiam
Sanctiarch Vaneus Ezeth, Master of Sanctity
Reclusiarch Uldos Veryd, Master of Rites
8 Primaris Chaplains
30 Cenobytes (Serfs & Servitors)
 
Apothecarion
 Isiod Ganeth, Chief Apothecary
9 Primaris Apothecaries
2 Helix Adepts
120 Medicae (Serfs & Servitors)
 
Librarium
Wyrlock Aloni, Chief Librarian
2 Epistolaries, 3 Codiciers, 5 Lexicanums, 3 Acolytes
 
1st Company & Honor Guard
"The Shieldbearers"
2 Bladeguard Lieutenants
Bladeguard Ancient
33 Bladeguard Veterans
3 Redemptor Dreadnoughts
 
2nd Company
"The Spears of Tynath"
Primaris Captain Ulaius Tynath, Master of the Watch
2 Primaris Lieutenants
Primaris Ancient
6x10 Intercessors
2x10 Assault Intercessors
2x10 Hellblasters
2 Redemptor Dreadnoughts
 
3rd Company
"The Pious Fist"
Primaris Captain Aeghus Koth, Master of Relics
2 Primaris Lieutenants
Primaris Ancient
6x10 Intercessors
2x10 Assault Intercessors
2x10 Hellblasters
2 Redemptor Dreadnoughts
 
4th Company
"The Sentinels"
Primaris Captain Daleus Ornyx, Master of the Fleet
2 Primaris Lieutenants
Primaris Ancient
6x10 Intercessors
2x10 Assault Intercessors
2x10 Hellblasters
2 Redemptor Dreadnoughts
 
5th Company
"The Hearthkeepers"
Primaris Captain Holbin Egloth, Chief Victualler
2 Primaris Lieutenants
Primaris Ancient
6x10 Intercessors
2x10 Assault Intercessors
2x10 Hellblasters
2 Redemptor Dreadnoughts
 
6th Company
"The Rearguard"
Primaris Captain Willam Ganth, Master of the Marches
2 Primaris Lieutenants
Primaris Ancient
10x10 Intercessors
2 Redemptor Dreadnoughts
 
7th Company
"The Proselytes"
Captain Vhale Othon, Master of Recruits
2 Primaris Lieutenants
Primaris Ancient
4x10 Intercessors
6x10 Scouts
 
8th Company
"The Huntsmen"
Captain Holt Brigatha, Master of the Hunt
2 Primaris Lieutenants
Primaris Ancient
6x10 Assault Intercessors
5x3 Outriders
5 Invaders
3x5 Inceptors
2 Redemptor Dreadnoughts
 
9th Company
"The Longbows"
Gravis Captain Strom Areth, Master of the Arsenal
2 Primaris Lieutenants
Primaris Ancient
4x10 Hellblasters
6x3 Heavy Intercessors
6x3 Aggressors
6x3 Eradicators
2 Redemptor Dreadnoughts
 
10th Company
"The Shadowsbane"
Phobos Captain Abendus Loth, Master of Reconnaissance
2 Phobos Lieutenants
4x10 Incursors
2x10 Infiltrators
2x10 Reivers
3x3 Suppressors
3x3 Eliminators
2 Invictor Tactical Warsuits
 
Recruitment
The Rift Wardens reap their crop of recruits from the native population of Gholus. The feudal city-states of the planet each send a tithe of male youths to the Forbidden Lands each year to be tested for acceptance. A select Chaplain and Apothecary are always assigned the responsibility of conducting these tests. Each youth is tested both biologically and psychologically for viability and those who are found worthy are inducted into the Scouts, a demi-company maintained by the chapter. Those who are found wanting for whatever reason are destined to serve as chapter Serfs.
 
The chapter holds the native people of Gholus in high regard for even those found incompatible for ascendance can still serve the chapter, lest they be consigned to the life of a Servitor for any crimes they choose to commit. The Chapter has a symbiotic relationship with the people rather than treating them as lower beings. Every family is expected to offer their sons, save for their first born who is to remain as the next head of the family. The chapter has never yet been understaffed with support personnel and some even rise to prominent positions within the chapter's structure.
 
 
Homeworld
Gholus is classed as both an Astartes Homeworld and a Feudal World. It originally was a colony which made a sojourn from the nearby Questor Imperialis World of Tynath in late M.38. The people established a new colony there prior to the huge upsurge of enemy forces in the latter part of M.41. Thanks to the relatively close proximity to their father world Tynath, they enjoyed a relatively peaceful existence until the coming of the Dark Times. 
 
Gholus features several biomes including northern and southeastern steppes, a great forested region in the center of the continent and great stretches of rocky coastlines. It lies in the farther edge of the "Habitable Zone" in it's orbit around the star Ghol so it 'errs towards colder climes. The central and southwestern mountains are known as the Forbidden Zone because it is where the chapter's Fortress-Monastery lies. The Arx Pugnus is a mighty granite edifice that is in roughly the shape of a close fist, classed as a continental upheaval, or "mesa".
 
The planet has many feifdoms across it's lands such as the Tynath who are descendants of the original noble family that lead the colony ship to Gholus, to the Brigatha who inhabit the large southern steppes, known for their mounted knights. Conflict is frequent among the fiefdoms though large scale war between them is all but unheard of. Most conflict is resolved through tournements of honor and skill, where first blood drawn is enough to settle disputes.
 
The planet's people are only vaguely aware of the larger galaxy and the horrors from beyond. However, Since the invasion by the Drukhari the city-states and fiefdoms have maintained a large standing army of men at arms and knights who stand ready to defend their lands if need be against the "Shades". The chapter makes sure to keep it's power in check so they've only offered to maintain, if not slightly improve the standing forces' archaeotech weaponry and equipment.
 
 
Alliances
The chapter takes great care to hold close ties with the Questor Imperialis House Theronis of Tynath for their mutual aid only strengthens their hold on their sector of Ultima Segmentum. Their alliance came out of both a treaty of honor and requirement for they both act as guardians against the horrors that pour forth from the Cicatrix Maledictum and the other warp anomalies to the galactic east. They have yet to seal their treaty in battle together but that time may soon be at hand...
 
 
Notable Battles
 
*coming with Crusade games*
 
 
Notable Heroes
Chapter Master Jaleus Novath is the first native-born leader of the chapter since their original tutors abdigated that title to him. He is only 60 years of age but has already shown himself capable and zealous in his leadership as well as his prosecution of war. No battle has yet been fought that he was absent from and this has cemented the respect of the chapter council who had voted him to lead.
 
*WIP for more*
 
 
Chapter Relics
Eternal Martyr is a master-crafted Storm Shield that houses a force field generator. It is adorned with the skeletal remains of Lord Halberon Tynath, a former leader of House Tynath. During the war with the Shades, or Drukhari in the alien tongue, Lord Halberon sacrificed himself to destroy a vile Haemonculus. Using the alien's sadistic nature against him, Halberon allowed himself to be perforated with venomous shards which he then returned to his killer in a bear-hug death grip which caused both of them to bleed to death from venom-induced hemorraging. It is currently wielded by Chapter Master Jaleus Novath.
 The Ironclad Aegis is a suit of modified Mark X Gravis power armor worn by the current Master of the Forge Olseus Eridyth. This finely wrought armor is equipped with additional motive units and a servo harness which enables Olseus to wield a heavy bolter in combat with impunity alongside his power axe, servo arm and mechadendrites.
 
 
Thought of the Day: A life is worthless if it is not spent in devotion and service.

Edited by Julgolax, 01 August 2020 - 10:35 PM.

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#2
Bjorn Firewalker

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Your IA is competently written, for the most part. The following is what I have issue with:

The First Company, known by the sobriquette "The Shieldbearers" serves both as the Honor Guard and veteran fighting unit of the chapter.

Honor Guards guard the Chapter's HQ units, including Captains and Chaplains; and may be called upon to guard visiting VIPs, such as planetary governors and Inquisitors. Why does the Chapter Master command them, instead of Tactical Marines?

Note: I've proposed a Chapter Master should take promising Marines from each Company, to serve as Honor Guards for a time, before these Marines return to their original Companies. During this time, the "Honor Guard" not only receives martial training so he may serve as a bodyguard, he receives leadership training so he may command troops in battle- induction in the Honor Guards is mandatory for those who'll be the Chapter's officers- as well as indoctrination so he'll be loyal to the Chapter Master and the Chapter as a whole, not only to his original Captain and Company. The indoctrination is meant to prevent a Captain from turning renegade or even traitor, disobeying the Chapter Master and other lawful authorities' orders, or otherwise dishonoring the Chapter.

Does that seem a good justification for the Shieldbearers' doctrine?

8th Company

<Snip.>

3x5 Inceptors

I couldn't find the word "Inceptor" anywhere else in the IA. Why is 8th Company the only one fielding Inceptors? Does the Chapter have no faith in the unit's utility on the battlefield, or do they lack Techmarines capable of building and maintaining jump packs?

Chapter Master Jaleus Novath is the first native-born leader of the chapter since their original tutors abdigated that title to him. He is only 60 years of age but has already shown himself capable and zealous in his leadership as well as his prosecution of war.

Did the Rift Wardens' training cadre simply return to their original Chapters afterwards? Why did they do this instead of remaining to serve as the Rift Wardens' officers? Were they ordered to serve as the training cadre for multiple newly founded Chapters, due to personnel shortages resulting from Cadia's Fall and the Great Rift opening?

And 60 years old seems comically young for a Chapter Master, considering 50 is barely enough time for a Scout to transition to a Tactical Marine (examples: Leandros in the video game Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine, Raclaw in the graphic novel Damnation Crusade).
Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

#3
BadgersinHills

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Looking good. Second Bjorn's question about the Inceptors and Novath's age. 


Maybe you could model TWC-sized "were-templars" who's inner Templar took over in the fury of battle transforming them into a giant half man - half templar?

gallery_62972_14467_9630.jpg. gallery_48988_16228_1694.png  sml_gallery_48988_16308_6255.png

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#4
Lord_Caerolion

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Also, why are the Scouts in the 7th Company, taking the place of Intercessors? Scouts may be Troops choices, but they're not Battleline, and since the introduction of the Primaris it's been confirmed that they don't count towards the 1000 Battle-Brother limit, but are rather auxiliary forces to the Vanguard units in the 10th Company.

Most Chapter organizations don't explicitly determine the squad types either, it's just Battleline/Close Support/Fire Support. There are times when bikes won't be appropriate, for example so they're not just going to tell 15 guys in 8th Company to sit this one out, they'll just deploy as Assault Intercessors, or Reivers, or whatever other Close Assault unit best fits the situation.


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#5
Bjorn Firewalker

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Also, why are the Scouts in the 7th Company, taking the place of Intercessors?

I assumed this was for symbolic reasons. The Imperial Fists were the VII Legion, after all.

Most Chapter organizations don't explicitly determine the squad types either, it's just Battleline/Close Support/Fire Support. There are times when bikes won't be appropriate, for example so they're not just going to tell 15 guys in 8th Company to sit this one out, they'll just deploy as Assault Intercessors, or Reivers, or whatever other Close Assault unit best fits the situation.

Good point. Such flexibility will make the Rift Wardens more competent in battle, better able to deal with changing circumstances and to counter Chaos shenanigans.
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Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

#6
Lord_Caerolion

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Also, why are the Scouts in the 7th Company, taking the place of Intercessors?

I assumed this was for symbolic reasons. The Imperial Fists were the VII Legion, after all.

 

 

If it's for symbolic reasons, that's fair enough, but the Company number wasn't really the main query there. It doesn't explain why the Scout Company of this Chapter is only 40% the size of any other Primaris Chapter. Scouts are in addition to the 10 Vanguard squads in a fully Codex Chapter, so why is the "Scout Company" here still having 10 squads, but 4 of them are Intercessors, and the remaining 60 are Scouts?

I love the idea of them fighting alongside the "Battleline reservists", there's just no reason to have only 4 Intercessors in the Reserve Company, when the Codex allows for them to take a full 100 alongside however many Scouts they may have. The Codex only counts full Battle Brothers capable of wearing power armour.


"And then Horus landed on the Moon, which looked like the moon. Funny that, isn't it?"


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#7
StratoKhan

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Hi ​Julgolax​, I like the work you've done so far.

 

I like that there isn't much so far in terms of history and that you'll be adding more as you complete your Crusade-mode battles. It's a nice and 'organic' way to do things.

 

I also like that you talk about failed aspirants being absorbed into the Chapter's serfs, good detail. The Chapter being more integrated into the population is a valid choice, it makes for a good dynamic that you can explore further down the line.

 

Regarding the feudal concepts you've explored, a few things come to mind to me regarding the fight against the Drukhari.

I can totally believe that the planet's inhabitants bravely resisted the raid or invasion for some period of time, maybe at great sacrfice to them.

However, once a Chapter of Space Marines decided to base themselves on the planet, I don't know how much use it would be to keep a force of fedual men at arms as a standing army to protect against the Dark Eldar. Not when a Space Marine Chapter is now based on that world. I guess I would just expect that the Space Marines themselves, and their Fortress Monastery's defences, act as the main (if not the only) line of defence against Dark Eldar raiders. Just a thought.

 

60 years does seem young for your Chapter Master, a Chapter Master is generally an experienced warrior without peer, qualified to lead 1000 of the Imperium mightiest warriors into battle. At 60 years a Space Marine is barely getting started. To have the CM hail from the Chapter homeworld, when the Chapter was founded in M42 does not quite match up (I think... not sure what year in M42 the timeline has progressed to).

 

I don't know how much you're worried about style and spelling, but one thing stood out.

Having each sentence start with "The XYZ Company, is known by the sobriquette (should be sobriquet btw)..." is a bit repetitive, you probably don't need to repeat the same phrase every time.

 

The formatting for the Chapter's Company disposition breaks up the article too much in my opinion, as it stands it's just a veeery long column of text.

I've linked to an image of how to compress the same information using a vertical + horizontal layout. If at all possible if would help readability. You might already be aware of that.

https://wh40k.lexica...apterOrgNew.jpg

 

Good work on the Rift Wardens. Let us know how the Crusade battles go.


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#8
Grey Hunter Ydalir

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I think a better set of questions to ask are, is this a good enough reason to diverge from the codex? 

Like the scouts being in the seventh company, is this it a good enough reason to do it for a symbolic reason? Keep in mind, the Imperial Fists arguably are the true masters Codex doctrine, even over the top of the Ultramarines, because they dedicated themselves to it.

 

The only reason I say this - and encourage asking this question of all your choices - is that new chapters would be using the codex as their bible, to move away from it requires some hefty justification.

 

60 years does seem young for your Chapter Master, a Chapter Master is generally an experienced warrior without peer, qualified to lead 1000 of the Imperium mightiest warriors into battle. At 60 years a Space Marine is barely getting started. To have the CM hail from the Chapter homeworld, when the Chapter was founded in M42 does not quite match up (I think... not sure what year in M42 the timeline has progressed to).

 

 

I agree completely. 

 

Most tactical marines who have been serving in a line company would have either a single service stud, or not be far off, which denotes 100 years of service. Captains usually two or three studs, same for Chapter Masters who usually come from the company Captains, and will be roughly the same age as his peers, unless he's a paragon like Tu'Shan, Grimnar, or in a more extreme case, Dante.

 

Some veterans (either serving First Company, Veteran Sargents returned to line companies, Captains, Chaplains, Librarians, Apothacaries, Techmarines, etc) will have the same or more time served than Company Captains or even the Chapter Master. It's not uncommon for the CM to listen to the council of the veterans in his command retinue, especially as many of them may be far more experienced than he.

 

If you want your Chapter Master to be 'young', make him young in comparison to the rest of the chapters leadership and specialists. It will give you the effect you want while still having the chapter fit in the timeline a lot better. Just my two cents. 


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#9
gripschi

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Maybe promote one of the New Astartes from there Homeworld to a Position Like a Equerry, were He learn under a captian for now. Build one Up as further Leader.

Maybe a Captian at Rank, but 60 Years for the Leader is far too Young.

#10
Brother Lunkhead

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Very good start Brother Julgolaxthumbsup.gif Very well thought out and I do like the character names you've chosen thus far.

 

I'll add my voice to those who've cautioned you about deviation from the Codex. As Ultima marines and of Imperial Fist stock, the eye of the Regent is on them and there is the legacy of orthodoxy among Dorn's sons to consider. Any deviation at this point should be considered carefully and clearly and strongly justified. I'm not seeing that at this point. In reference to the Honor Guard, Brother Bjorn's idea of seconding them from each company has good merit. The description of the 10th company in the current Space Marine codex leaves plenty of room for Primaris Vanguards and Scouts as well as junior neophytes. I don't see the need to change that.

 

I'm going to be the decenter concerning your young Chapter Master. I see no problem there. History is replete with young generals of noteyes.gif Alexander the Great, Scipio Africanus, James Gavin, Gilbert du Matier, Gaius Octavian and Galusha Pennypacker just to name a few. It's the qualities of the leader and his accomplishments that matter most. Sixty years is plenty of time for Novath to fill his resume' with accomplishment and glory. You might want to detail these accomplishments in your narrative for those in doubt.

 

One the whole, it's looking good. I look forward to seeing more.


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