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The haraldry picts look absolutely perfect and really help to communicate these chaos' brutal and bloody methodologies.

 

 

Or do I go even more brutal

Looks great! Here's hoping he won't be misidentified as a Khorne worshiper and become a "friendly fire" casualty as a direct result.

Now this could be a great plot hook to run on, possibly adding to how their Brother Chapters and the Ordos Inquisition view the Ebon Butchers.

 

Cambrius

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Chapter Cult has been updated

 

Would love to hear some ideas about Battlefield Doctrine (That remains codex compliant).

I want to add something I am referring to as "Pithing Squad Designation", a command order to permit squads to do whatever it takes to eliminate something.

I want to also write about them being censured for some of their actions (The ones witnessed anyway)

Anything else?

Edited by Minigiant
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Would love to hear some ideas about Battlefield Doctrine (That remains codex compliant).

Combine tactics emphasizing long-range firepower, with ones emphasizing close combat, to ensure the enemy is eliminated. Do this by having field artillery and/or aerospace strikes suppress enemy defenses, allowing Assault Terminators and other close combat units to reach enemy strongholds and get verifiable evidence of the enemy's demise- which the Marines will personally cut from enemy corpses, if necessary.

 

To support such tactics, say the Chapter has close relations with Ferrus Manus' sons, granting it access to heavily armed transports like the Morragul gunship (also known as "Doom Raven," this Stormraven variant has a Vanquisher battle cannon and quad heavy bolter fitted in place of the front assault ramp, which I proposed here).

I want to add something I am referring to as "Pithing Squad Designation", a command order to permit squads to do whatever it takes to eliminate something.

As "whatever it takes" may mean sacrificing the entire squad, let's give such units nicknames like "Kamikaze" and/or "Suicide Squad," and equip the members with suicide bombs. Have the fortress-monastery bear a memorial to every Marine who served in a Pithing Squad, with a grim ceremony to honor them- those who die on duty will have their names written in black ink, those who survive will have theirs written in red ink until they pass (this is also done with widows' names, in feudal Japan).

I want to also write about them being censured for some of their actions (The ones witnessed anyway)

Say a Chaos cult's members took cover in a shrine to Roboute Guilliman, and the Butchers destroyed this shrine in their haste to eradicate the cult, insulting other Ultramarines successors in the process? Have the Butchers officer who ordered the artillery barrage that destroyed the shrine, bear an adamantium Aquila recovered from it, in penance for his sin? After this officer sacrifices himself to destroy another great evil, have the Chapter recover the Aquila and make it into a relic- maybe a thunder hammer, maybe the wings can be sharpened to form power axe blades- for which you may write your own stats and Special Rules?
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Nitpick:

Company Captains can enact a mode operati, known only as 'The Pithing'.

Why write modus operandi as "mode operati"? Is that something done in Games Workshop or Black Library publications, like how Shakespeare's name is INTENTIONALLY misspelled as "Shakespire" in the Horus Heresy novels?
Edited by Bjorn Firewalker
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Nitpick:

Company Captains can enact a mode operati, known only as 'The Pithing'.

Why write modus operandi as "mode operati"? Is that something done in Games Workshop or Black Library publications, like how Shakespeare's name is INTENTIONALLY misspelled as "Shakespire" in the Horus Heresy novels?

 

I used it in my Praedicators, but I also remember reading it in a few other decent IAs. I of course cannot find any examples when I need it

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Okay I think they are done, and by done I mean I will probably spend the next few years tweaking and refining them. I have a few ideas what to work on now, including a couple of projects with the Praedicators again

Edited by Minigiant
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And while I am at it, I have made some campaign badges for the Ebon Butchers too

These look great! But as a long-time fan of crossovers, I have to ask if the Ebon Butchers, Prædicators, the Order of the Abyss, and your other creations interact in any way. Do the Ebon Butchers have what they consider a "friendly rivalry" with the Prædicators, competing to see who kills the enemy faster and/or kill more enemies when both Chapters participate in the same campaign (with the fatalistic Prædicators ignoring the boasting Ebon Butchers champion as they try to get on with their bloody work)?

Edited by Bjorn Firewalker
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And while I am at it, I have made some campaign badges for the Ebon Butchers too

These look great! But as a long-time fan of crossovers, I have to ask if the Ebon Butchers, Prædicators, the Order of the Abyss, and your other creations interact in any way. Do the Ebon Butchers have what they consider a "friendly rivalry" with the Prædicators, competing to see who kills the enemy faster and/or kill more enemies when both Chapters participate in the same campaign (with the fatalistic Prædicators ignoring the boasting Ebon Butchers champion as theu try to get on with their bloody work)?

 

No, not really. I create most of these creations in a void

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  • 3 weeks later...

I have a piece inbound expanding on the Chapters organisation and explaining their increased amount of Dreadnoughts, but until then I want to ask for some help brainstorming:

 

Over on the Praedicators IA I wrote a War Zone article which is currently in the process of being photoshopped to match the codex. I now want to start writing one for the Butchers, one that focuses on Brutality.

 

Their allied forces would be; Knights of Blood, Marines Malevolent, Characaradons, Subjugators

 

And I think I want the campaign (Saevitia) to be against the Blood Pact

 

I need some ideas as to what to include in the campaign such as operations, events, and locations.

 

What can you add?

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I have a piece inbound expanding on the Chapters organisation and explaining their increased amount of Dreadnoughts

Does the Chapter have a close relationship with the AdMech? That will be necessary for the replacement parts and equipment to maintain the Dreadnought sarcophagi and warsuits, and training for those maintaining the Dreadnoughts. Maybe say Caro provides food to a critical forge world, possibly one manufacturing Dreadnought components?

I now want to start writing one for the Butchers, one that focuses on Brutality.

Good idea.

Their allied forces would be; Knights of Blood, Marines Malevolent, Characaradons, Subjugators

I presume the "Knights of Blood" you're referring to, are the Blood Angels Successor Chapter, and not the Knornate warband. The Chapter's Lexicanum article states, "they were declared renegades by the High Lords of Terra in the beginning of M41," so I have to ask if this battle takes place before or after the Knights were declared renegade, making the alliance one sure to draw the Inquisition's attention?

And I think I want the campaign (Saevitia) to be against the Blood Pact

Is this "Blood Pact" the same one that fought in the Sabbat Worlds Crusade? Will you claim the Butchers fought for the Sabbat Worlds, e.g., defending supply ships, or (more likely) hunting down the pirates who attacked supply ships from Caro, in retaliation?

I need some ideas as to what to include in the campaign such as operations, events, and locations.

Considering a Marine Malevolent once goaded a Black Templar into an honor duel, so he could seize the dead Templar's arms and armor as spoils, let's have an "incident" where the Marines Malevolent and the Ebon Butchers come to blows. Maybe a Marines Malevolent Captain insulted an Ebon Butchers Lieutenant's honor, in an attempt to goad the latter into a duel for which the former could seize the LT's frigate as spoils, but the LT swallowed his pride until the Marines Malevolent CAPT needed his (and his frigate's) help, which the LT refused to provide unless the CAPT groveled before him?
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I have a piece inbound expanding on the Chapters organisation and explaining their increased amount of Dreadnoughts

Does the Chapter have a close relationship with the AdMech? That will be necessary for the replacement parts and equipment to maintain the Dreadnought sarcophagi and warsuits, and training for those maintaining the Dreadnoughts. Maybe say Caro provides food to a critical forge world, possibly one manufacturing Dreadnought components

I am not going to address it, as I think it will detract from the rest of the IA with some convoluted story to justify having them, and go away from the overall narrative.

 

 

 

Their allied forces would be; Knights of Blood, Marines Malevolent, Characaradons, Subjugators

I presume the "Knights of Blood" you're referring to, are the Blood Angels Successor Chapter, and not the Knornate warband. The Chapter's Lexicanum article states, "they were declared renegades by the High Lords of Terra in the beginning of M41," so I have to ask if this battle takes place before or after the Knights were declared renegade, making the alliance one sure to draw the Inquisition's attention

 

Yes the Blood Angels Chapter that was then destroyed int he Battle for Baal. They are my final choice, and I may still swap them out for Flesh Tearers if the story needs.

 

 

And I think I want the campaign (Saevitia) to be against the Blood Pact

 

Is this "Blood Pact" the same one that fought in the Sabbat Worlds Crusade? Will you claim the Butchers fought for the Sabbat Worlds, e.g., defending supply ships, or (more likely) hunting down the pirates who attacked supply ships from Caro, in retaliation

Yes the Khornate Guard. I think I will keep away from the Sabbat World canon.

 

 

I need some ideas as to what to include in the campaign such as operations, events, and locations.

Considering a Marine Malevolent once goaded a Black Templar into an honor duel, so he could seize the dead Templar's arms and armor as spoils, let's have an "incident" where the Marines Malevolent and the Ebon Butchers come to blows. Maybe a Marines Malevolent Captain insulted an Ebon Butchers Lieutenant's honor, in an attempt to goad the latter into a duel for which the former could seize the LT's frigate as spoils, but the LT swallowed his pride until the Marines Malevolent CAPT needed his (and his frigate's) help, which the LT refused to provide unless the CAPT groveled before him?

 

 

I do want some infighting. Blanket bombing positions while "allies" are still there. The world limit I do not think would fit the scheming your suggesting, as that could be a whole story by itself.

 

 

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And I think I want the campaign (Saevitia) to be against the Blood Pact

 

Is this "Blood Pact" the same one that fought in the Sabbat Worlds Crusade? Will you claim the Butchers fought for the Sabbat Worlds, e.g., defending supply ships, or (more likely) hunting down the pirates who attacked supply ships from Caro, in retaliation
Yes the Khornate Guard. I think I will keep away from the Sabbat World canon.
In that case, claim the "Blood Pact" the Ebon Butchers fought, is actually one whose founders took inspiration from Urlock Gaur and his army, and otherwise having nothing to do with the Sabbat Worlds? That way, you can avoid people screaming, "That's not canon!"
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An in complete of my first draft. Still to go (Which I only have about another 150 words to do it in):

  • The war on Furor
  • Closing paragraph

 

 

War Zone: 
 

Saevitia

 

 

Distress Beacons from astropathic choirs in Saevitia blared into the void as horrors out of the Annihilus Diabolis Extremis encroached from all sides. A handful of Astartes Chapters answered the call for aid, if for nothing more than their deep-seated hatred for the forces of the dark gods.


Strike Forces from several Chapters - the Ebon Butchers, Flesh Tearers, Carcharodons, Marines Malevolent, and Subjugators all responded to the distress call, the first two of which were the first to arrive. The Navigators of their anointed vessels managed to traverse them through an ever increasingly dangerous region of space. Time was of the essence and could not afford to wait for further reinforcements to arrive. 


The Flesh Tearers made for the primitive world of Furor to tackle the barbarian tribes unleashing daemons from the warp into the Materium, leaving the Ebon Butchers to make planetfall on Ira to reinforce the embattled 91st Ira Grenadiers against the relentless marching of the Khornate Blood Pact.


Despite their biological strength, many months of campaigning against the replenishing forces of Chaos had taken their toll on the first wave of Astartes Chapters. The Ebon Butchers had struggled to wrestle control of the spaceport; casualties were high and incapable of being evacuated; and supplies were running dangerously low. This made the three remaining Chapters' arrival ever more precarious.  Once out of the Mandeville point they were beset by defensive laser cannon fire. The Carcharodons and Subjugators quickly made to reinforce the Flesh Tearers while the Marines Malevolent were sent to relieve the overrun Butchers.


The Marines Malevolent launched a blistering orbital bombardment upon the planet, indiscriminate between overrun allied and foe positions. This protracted bombardment was followed by a swift orbital assault to capture the spaceport and put the defensive cannons out of commission. The reprieve lasted barely long enough to evacuate the wounded before the most brutal battle for Ira ‘The Scaphism. The Blood Pact launched an all-out armoured counterattack to cut off ground troops, and getting those cannons back online to eliminate orbital support. 

 

Edited by Minigiant
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Good job so far. Suggested names for the "most brutal battle for Ira": "Keelhauling" or "Scaphism", after methods of torture involving the use of ships or boats. (The battle takes place at a spaceport, get it?)

 

Nitpicks, with suggested corrections bolded:

Strike Forces from several Chapters - the Ebon Butchers, Flesh Tearers, Carcharadons, Marines Malevolent, and Subjugators all responded to the distress call, the first two of which were the first to arrive.

The Carcharodons and Subjugators quickly made to reinforce the Flesh Tearers while the Marines Malevolent were sent to relieve the overrun Butchers.

You repeatedly misspelled Carcharodons as "Characaradons".

The Navigators of their anointed vessels managed to traverse them through an ever increasingly dangerous region of space.

I think you meant "anointed vessels", not "nointed vessels".

The Ebon Butchers had struggled to wrestle control of the spaceport; casualties were high and incapable of being evacuated; and supplies were running dangerously low.

I think semicolons work better than commas, in this sentence.

Once out of the Mandeville Point Spaceport, they were beset by defensive laser cannon fire.

What is the "Mandeville point"? I advise identifying it.

The Marines Malevolent launched a blistered orbital bombardment upon the planet, not distinguishing between overrun allied and foe positions.

I replaced "The Malevolent" with "The Marines Malevolent" in case someone thought "Malevolent" was a ship's name. I also replaced "undistinguishing" with "not distinguishing". Merriam-Webster also suggests using "indiscriminate" in place of "undistinguishing".

The reprieve lasted barely long enough to evacuate the wounded before the most brutal battle for Ira: The _______.

I replaced the apostrophe after "Ira" with a colon.
Edited by Bjorn Firewalker
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  • 1 month later...
  • 10 months later...
1 hour ago, Minigiant said:

Major Update!

I have done a major update to all sections, but the three new sections are:

 

  • Chapter Master
  • Cleansing of Varren IX
  • Dreadnoughts

These sections are well-written, but there is room for improvement. Did the Chapter Master CHOOSE to be interred in a Dreadnought sarcophagus, or was he forced into one against his will, like Malcharion? And how does he avoid going senile, like other Dreadnoughts portrayed in Black Library novels and the Codices themselves? Is his Dreadnought a unique relic with specialized systems preserving his mind from such deterioration?

 

Nitpicks:

T

he Cleansing of Varren IX cast a shroud of darkness over the forsaken sector,



As "The Cleansing of Varren IX" is your term for the Ebon Butchers campaign against the heretics and traitors there- one meant to tear away this shroud, subjecting those within to the burning light of the Emperor's judgment- I think you meant "The Fall of Varren IX cast a shroud of darkness over the forsaken sector," in the opening sentence.



As an "innocent" is obviously untainted, I think you meant "Imperial subjects, innocent and tainted alike, were swept aside..."
Innocents, tainted or not, were swept aside,

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