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Firebolts


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#1
schoon

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Please feel free to comment, criticise (constructive), suggest, or opine!

Origins

In the early days after the Horus Heresy, new foundings were an important vindication of the Dominion of Manís perpetuation into each new Millennium. The 5th Founding took place during the Grand-Millennial celebration on the first day of the 33rd Millennium (001001M33). The Adeptus Mechanicus, in an unusual and still unexplained decision, utilized pure-strain, tithed White Scars gene-seed in creation of the Fireboltsí genotype, so it comes as no surprise that the two chapters share many of the same attributes. Unlike many chapters of the early foundings, the Firebolts journeyed from the festivals on Mars to a planet-based Fortress-Monastery, exempted from the endless voyages of fleet-based chapters.

The founding armada cast off from Mars, bound for the Procelas system in the Tempestus Segmentum. The third planet, the oxygen-rich gas giant Procelas Tertius, serves as one of the largest gas-mining operations in the segmentum, providing vital oxygen and rare hydrogen compounds to much of the segmentum. Upon arrival, they pressed nearly every tug in the system into service to settle the Fireboltís new home, Storm-Hold, onto its gravitic suspensors within the turbulent atmosphere, sharing space with the majestic floating islands of the restless giant.

The White Scarís ruthlessness appears to manifest itself even more in their successor chapter. Early in their history, the Firebolts were called upon to quell the Rogal Hive uprising, where they not only relentlessly eliminated every hive official of the corrupt Arameticus administration, but also culled every PDF regiment that fought for the insurgency. Chapter annals provide a wealth of additional examples, and the files of the Adeptus Administratum are replete with reprimands filed concerning their excessive ďfervor,Ē particularly from the Inquisition. Interrogations prove difficult when there are no survivors.

This is not to say that the Firebolts are slaves to their passion. With the seed of Jaghatai Khan also came great cunning. Ingenious tactical and strategic solutions to battlefield predicaments are a trademark of the chapter. From the mental sparring amongst troop-brethren to the tests of the Grand Conclave, wiles and a shrewd mind are as vital as properly blessed weaponry. As with their progenitor chapter, the Firebolts have a reputation for cold reasoning and inspired tactics.

Conclaves are a fundamental part of Firebolt traditions. The Grand Conclave, consisting of the most senior and shrewd Marines of the chapter, meets upon the passing of a Great Lord to select his successor. At lesser levels, conclaves are also utilized for the testing and accession of company Captains, squad Sergeants, and even Chaplains. This is not to say such selections are made democratically, but senior Brothers express their opinions and often the conclave tests aspirants physically, mentally, and spiritually before making a decision.

Homeworld

The turbulent skies of Procelas Tertius and its floating islands inspire awe and fear in equal measure. Thunder and deep red incandescence of titanic firestorms filter through the deadly cyclones of the lower atmosphere, up to the relatively placid levels of the biosphere. Great islands of Rel-Moss, floating on countless tiny hydrogen bladders serve as the platforms for both aethoriums, factories producing oxygen and rare hydrogen compounds, and the planetís distinctive ceremite-clad hives.

Though Magos Astrum have theorized that the planet possesses a solid core, they have been unable to gather physical evidence of anything beyond the pressure-liquefied gas oceans. The violent, ionized lower-atmosphere keeps the coreís secrets well, foiling all attempts at auspex readings, sometimes destroying probes long before they attain their objectives.

The harsh white light of Procelasí main sequence star sustains a wide variety of airborne life forms, from the humble Rel-Moss, whose lung-like buoyancy chambers lift it clear of the storm clouds, to the deadly Falceis, a fearsome winged predator at the top of the food chain. Both atmospheric density and gravity are appreciably higher than that of Holy Terra, but still within acceptable tolerances for humans.

[Sidebar]
Procelas Tertius
Diameter at Equator: 112,854 km
Gravity: 1.43 g
Hydrography: n/a
Mass: 7.68 x 10^26 kg
[End Sidebar]

Voling, flight on the powerful thermals along the edges of Rel islands, inspires those at virtually all social levels, and the drafts often carry composite Spyrer wings along with those made of scrap plastic and prayers. Flight permeates many aspects of Procelasí society, and most citizens find three-dimensional thinking as natural as breathing.

Recruiting

The airborne hives of Procelas cannot simply metastasize in the same manner as their ground-based counterparts, with limited space at a far greater premium. This pressure keeps the underhive in a constant seething boil. Only the sharpest, most ruthless gangers survive the crucible, and from these the Firebolts recruit aspirants. Upon the first day of each year, honoring the day of founding, Preceptor teams descend into the cauldrons of the lower hives to preside over trials. Any may take part, and merit alone determines the selection. The tests vary according to the senior Preceptor, but always challenge a wide variety of aspects.


The 5th Company

Recruiting as they do from the airborne hives, the Firebolts have a spatial intuition that makes them unparalleled in boarding actions and other space-borne assaults. This advantage finally transformed into doctrine in 985M34 when the chapterís 5th Company reorganized to specialize in ship-to-ship combats, a move vindicated soon afterwards in the Nave Campaign with the capture of the Wrack of Sceilo. Since that time, Imperial Navy commanders frequently request units for conflicts in which they anticipate close-actions.

Tactics

Owing to their proximity to the Forge World, the Firebolts tend to utilize Phaeton-pattern bolters, widely known for their reliability under less-than-ideal conditions, for the majority of their common arsenal. In addition, most also carry a close-combat weapon, befitting their predilection for shipboard combat and small-unit actions. Depending on the tactical environment, heavier flamer and plasma weapons supplement this basic load.

As might be expected from a White Scars successor chapter, the Firebolts prefer maneuver warfare, employing land speeders and bikes when the battlefield permits, and smaller-scale stratagems for boarding actions, often bypassing defense nodes by proceeding through bulkheads and other ďobstacles.Ē The Firebolts do not employ Devastator squads or Dreadnoughts, owing to their inadequate maneuverability.

Beliefs

While the Firebolts are divergent from the sacred Codex Astartes and strongly believe in adaptation according to circumstances, large-scale changes can take centuries, if not millennia. The adaptation of the fifth company from standard to ship-to-ship configuration was debated amongst the Grand Conclave for nearly five centuries before officially ordained.

The Firebolts accept the divinity of the Emperor, and believe that he will one day rise from the Golden Throne and call a conclave to test his faithful. The Firebolts will not be found wanting.

#2
schoon

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See below for color scheme...

Edited by schoon, 07 June 2010 - 06:15 PM.


#3
Aurelius Rex

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Printed off for consideration at leisure, but from a quick skim it seems a great improvement. :D
[img=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v732/AureliusRex/Dornian%20Heresy/DornianHeresybanner.png]

Alternate Heresy Index Astartes articles for the World Eaters, Emperor's Children, Raven Guard, Word Bearers,
Ultramarines, White Scars, Space Wolves, Thousand Sons and Blood Angels available as a pdf
[url=http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=200543&view=findpost&p=2388799]Click here for the Legio Imprint download thread[/url]
[url=http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=155430&view=findpost&p=2285413]Iron Warriors [/url]+++ [url=http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?showtopic=214274]Iron Hands[/url] +++ [url=http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?showtopic=219186]Alpha Legion[/url] +++ [url=http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?showtopic=226986]Dark Angels[/url]

[url=http://bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?showtopic=98543]Index Astartes: Scions of Dorn[/url]

#4
Brother Captain Alberic

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Hey its better then my second draft. :D Very original never heard of a chapter based on a Gas giant!

In the Truth of the Emperor we trust.

 


#5
Zhivago

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Diameter at Equator: 112,854 km
Gravity: 1.43 g
Hydrography: n/a
Mass: 7.68 x 10^26 kg


Your avarage density is 1020 kg/m^3, which is suitable for gas giant, and your equator diameter fits too. Job well done. :D


The rest of the stuff is looking good too.
Purrfect.

#6
Aurelius Rex

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A very enjoyable read, with a number of very nice touches that made it stand out, in particular the '...scrap plastic and prayers...' part and a very punchy opening.

You have also succeeded in tying in the wild nature of the White Scars to the chapter, and seamlessly added to it with the culture of their homeworld.

There are a few sections I would like to examine:

The Adeptus Mechanicus, in an unusual and still unexplained decision, utilized pure-strain, tithed White Scars gene-seed in creation of the Fireboltsí genotype, so it comes as no surprise that the two chapters share many of the same attributes.

I suspect that this is a hangover from the previous version where they had modified geneseed. Should the bits I highlighted be removed, as now they use pure geneseed this would be the norm?


From the mental sparring amongst troop-brethren to the tests of the Grand Conclave, wiles and a shrewd mind are as vital as properly blessed weaponry.

A nice line, but what do you mean by mental sparring? Could you give an example in the text?

Voling, flight on the powerful thermals along the edges of Rel islands, inspires those at virtually all social levels, and the drafts often carry composite Spyrer wings along with those made of scrap plastic and prayers.


Minor nit-pick, would 'updrafts' be better than 'drafts'?

The airborne hives of Procelas cannot simply metastasize in the same manner as their ground-based counterparts, with limited space at a far greater premium.

The word metastasized seems odd in this context, as I have only heard it used in the context of a cancer moving and spreading, not the spread of a settlement. Forgive me if this is a correct contextual usage of the word, but it seemed like the over-use of a thesaurus. :D Personally I would stick with 'expand' or 'grow' instead. B)


These minor points aside, a very good IA. :D
[img=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v732/AureliusRex/Dornian%20Heresy/DornianHeresybanner.png]

Alternate Heresy Index Astartes articles for the World Eaters, Emperor's Children, Raven Guard, Word Bearers,
Ultramarines, White Scars, Space Wolves, Thousand Sons and Blood Angels available as a pdf
[url=http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=200543&view=findpost&p=2388799]Click here for the Legio Imprint download thread[/url]
[url=http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=155430&view=findpost&p=2285413]Iron Warriors [/url]+++ [url=http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?showtopic=214274]Iron Hands[/url] +++ [url=http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?showtopic=219186]Alpha Legion[/url] +++ [url=http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?showtopic=226986]Dark Angels[/url]

[url=http://bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?showtopic=98543]Index Astartes: Scions of Dorn[/url]

#7
schoon

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I suspect that this is a hangover from the previous version where they had modified geneseed.  Should the bits I highlighted be removed, as now they use pure geneseed this would be the norm?

You are correct. I'll modify accordingly.

A nice line, but what do you mean by mental sparring?  Could you give an example in the text?

Poor wording on my part; it should read more along the lines of "verbal sparring" or "reparte."

The word metastasized seems odd in this context, as I have only heard it used in the context of a cancer moving and spreading, not the spread of a settlement.

I chose that word intentionally with exactly the context you figured - I see most hives growing over time, more organic than planned.

Thanks again for the input/suggestions!

#8
schoon

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Sorry for the threadomancy, but I'm brushing this off for Philip's 1000 Chapters project...

Here's the new trooper image:
Posted Image

#9
moi_a_mania

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I have to say that after the 15 or so IA's I've read in the last two weeks, this revision is on the right path.

But with that said, there is always room for improvement. I feel like Simon Cowell from American Idol all of a sudden. :)

The one thing that stands out in your IA from everyone else's is that there is no mention of your Chapter Master. Some IA's go too far into building up their Chapter Master as the next coming of Marneus Calgar or Lord Dante. In yours, he is missing. I would include some small notes about him, how he became Chapter Master, what significant battles he's been a part of, how he inspires your men. I would continue with the raids on other ships. When I read that, I couldn't stop thinking of the opening scene in "A New Hope" where the Stormtroopers board the Rebel Ship and then Vader makes his impressive debut.

Include some characters and their stories and you'll be way on your way. Good luck making Phillp's list. I know they are down to like 100 spots left.

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#10
Tyrannicide

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I have to say that after the 15 or so IA's I've read in the last two weeks, this revision is on the right path.

But with that said, there is always room for improvement. I feel like Simon Cowell from American Idol all of a sudden. :)

The one thing that stands out in your IA from everyone else's is that there is no mention of your Chapter Master. Some IA's go too far into building up their Chapter Master as the next coming of Marneus Calgar or Lord Dante. In yours, he is missing. I would include some small notes about him, how he became Chapter Master, what significant battles he's been a part of, how he inspires your men. I would continue with the raids on other ships. When I read that, I couldn't stop thinking of the opening scene in "A New Hope" where the Stormtroopers board the Rebel Ship and then Vader makes his impressive debut.

Include some characters and their stories and you'll be way on your way. Good luck making Phillp's list. I know they are down to like 100 spots left.

While I agree that a character can be a fine way to express the Chapter's beliefs and inner-workings through their personality, I feel that too many Liber-ites suffer from this. By making the Chapter's first Master out to be the most important thing of the article, in the end the viewer suffers from something that usually detracts from the Chapter, and lessens the reading experience. If he doesn't add anything to the Chapter, then by all means, don't include him at all. It's irrelevant if he didn't have an instrumental impact on the Chapter, and often times I enjoy reading articles that don't mention the first Chapter Master at all, as that space is filled with more information on the Chapter, and less on Carneus Malgar.

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#11
Aurelius Rex

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Good to see you again, schoon. Hey - this thread is so old that I gave feedback on it back when I was still a Liber Astartes mod! :yes:

Back on-topic, the colourscheme seems a little busy for a basic trooper. I was going to say the yellow on the hands and knees seemed to detract, but then I use different colour gauntlets and ornament the knees for my Scions of Dorn, so that probably isn't a great example to use. :lol:

Regards,
Aurelius.
[img=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v732/AureliusRex/Dornian%20Heresy/DornianHeresybanner.png]

Alternate Heresy Index Astartes articles for the World Eaters, Emperor's Children, Raven Guard, Word Bearers,
Ultramarines, White Scars, Space Wolves, Thousand Sons and Blood Angels available as a pdf
[url=http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=200543&view=findpost&p=2388799]Click here for the Legio Imprint download thread[/url]
[url=http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=155430&view=findpost&p=2285413]Iron Warriors [/url]+++ [url=http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?showtopic=214274]Iron Hands[/url] +++ [url=http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?showtopic=219186]Alpha Legion[/url] +++ [url=http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?showtopic=226986]Dark Angels[/url]

[url=http://bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?showtopic=98543]Index Astartes: Scions of Dorn[/url]




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