Erasmus Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 In pretty much all the books I've read, you are taken off away from the action and on to a side line, this has the effect of calming your mind after action preping you for the next lot of good stuff. After all too much action can get boring, like in the clan of the cave bear books, the first time theres a sex scene your really interested but after the tenth you start to get bored of it, the same can be said for action. Its good to see that people can write books that contain methods of keeping the readers interest. I Like :rolleyes: :lol: :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
battle brother gerardis Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 excellent. You continue to provide more great, imaginitive and intriging writing. I love the way you have made Levictus. He is a space marine, but like any good soldier, he uses his head to keep himself alive. I can't help but wonder how you will bring Grendelwulf into the story. I'm sure you will do a good job. And definately keep Cypher out of it. I'm sick of hearing about that little hooded bastard. Gerardis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlameMasterDragon Posted September 1, 2005 Share Posted September 1, 2005 Question, dont we, the DA, kill inquisitors? before they get a chance to find out our secret? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaplain Lucifer Posted September 1, 2005 Share Posted September 1, 2005 Question, dont we, the DA, kill inquisitors? before they get a chance to find out our secret? No. We don't kill the emperor's servants unless there's a very, very good motive. most of the time avoiding or leading them away will do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grand Master Belial Posted September 2, 2005 Author Share Posted September 2, 2005 Question, dont we, the DA, kill inquisitors? before they get a chance to find out our secret? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> These are not your standard green Dark Angels. Somewhere on another thread there was talk that some Inquisitors have a very good idea but lack the incriminating evidence as it were to debase the most Loyal Chapter of marines. I am writing Yannick as though he found a Red Corsair. Not a Fallen Dark Angel. No installment today, it's been one of THOSE days! I'll try to get some more written tomorrow. All my deadlines are during the day tomorrow. After that, I should be able to get back to the action. Chaplain Lucifer, I hope this thread isn't nearing Airlock Three. Even if it be for my own good. Belial Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaplain Lucifer Posted September 2, 2005 Share Posted September 2, 2005 Folks, don't overreact. I was just answering FlamemasterDragon question. I wasn't anywhere near the Airlock III button. I'm enjoying the story so far. :) just because i'm in Ordo Tyrannus it doesn't mean I close every thread I show up in. ;) Now onto the story.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grand Master Belial Posted September 2, 2005 Author Share Posted September 2, 2005 Thanks CL, I just thought I was slowly approaching the gray area. Eloies, They are not Angels of Vengance. They are Fallen as well. (I'll make it clearer in a little while.) I'll keep writing until the interest dies, so I might get a whole novel done! I'm waiting for the Black Library to get their forums back up so I can submit the first two chapters for their review. It's 15 pages in Word already! I guess this makes it about 30 in paperback. That means I have to write about 80 more Word pages to make a decent size for a novel (190 pages ... Hmmm -_- ). I better start brainstorming a bit more stuff. (CDR Grendelwulf, I haven't forgotten your cameo. I want it to be somewhere else and I'll PM you for your approval before posting it for the rest of B&C +DA+.) Anyway, I promised an update so here it is. I might work on it a bit more, but I'll post that seperate. Enjoy! PS - I'll try to break away to assist in fluff writing for those of you who started your own stories. That and I need to help those in B&C +LA+ with their DIY fluff. I want that to be my niche in B&C. (Since I can't be the "go to" man for Fallen fluff. That's all you Grendelwulf! ;) :) ) Belial Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eloies Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 Ah, love to read this... Light's up my soul a bit (I'm sick and don't have much to do :rolleyes: ) Anyway take a look at this brother; A couple of stormtroopers were ripped apart by the mass-reactive bolter shells as the stormtroopers arrived. Wouldn't it be batter with "AS THEY ARRIVED"? I think that it would sound better..But I'm not a native english speaker so what do I know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grand Master Belial Posted September 6, 2005 Author Share Posted September 6, 2005 CHAPTER IV Librarian Uwala was awash in power as the squad of marines secured a perimeter around the Thunderhawk. Men threw down their weapons to claw their own eyes out at the images Uwala was sending to their weak minds. More than a couple turned their weapons on themselves. He sensed the coming of the reinforcements before they arrived and the Marines were well placed to deal with the new threat coming from the hive. The marine pilot had cleared the Thunderhawk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grand Master Belial Posted September 7, 2005 Author Share Posted September 7, 2005 All, I have added this to the Black Library's Forum Website. Let's see how I do. Black Library Posting Thanks to all who are giving me advice and encouragement. Belial Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
battle brother gerardis Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 God I hate you Belial. You brillaint story is keeping me up at nights. Anymore of this and I will definately have to start leaving for work later :) I'm only kidding. It defininately keeps the reader interested. Gerardis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grand Master Belial Posted April 6, 2006 Author Share Posted April 6, 2006 *Hack* *Hack* *Cough* *Cough* Sweet Emperor on the Golden Throne! It sure is dusty in here. I see I'm going to have to tidy this up again and post the new sections as this was the birthplace and home of this massive story. It's growth was stunted in recent months. <Grabs a broom and starts sweeeping.> *Hack* *Hack* *Cough* *Cough* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grand Master Belial Posted April 6, 2006 Author Share Posted April 6, 2006 CHAPTER V Leviticus sat in quiet meditation in Paschar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grand Master Belial Posted April 6, 2006 Author Share Posted April 6, 2006 CHAPTER VI It has been one standard week since Leviticus and Uwala talked in the corridor. He received a suit of Mark 7 armor and a newer bolt pistol. He took it upon himself to fashion new battle robes to go with the new armor. He took part in drilling with several of the marines that continued to maintain their combat readiness. Brother Paschar had recovered from his grief, taking to the drills with renewed purpose. Putting down his bolter, he had taken up additional training with the flamer, meltagun, and plasmagun. While the flamer sparked the flame of rage, the plasmagun became the weapon of choice. With accuracy that Leviticus had not seen since the Great Crusade, the marine grew ever more lethal. Leviticus accelerated his own training to get back into proper fighting form. Monitored closely by Apothecary Assiel, he began to feel the vigor that had been lost since the fall of Caliban. His body quickly recovered itself and was well on its way of recovering itself; he awoke one morning in his chambers to find that the potency of his Betcher Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abael Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 Ah, Belial! How long has it been since I have set foot in the hallowed Bolter and Chainsword forum? Too long, too long frater. I see you've not given up on your story. Good, good. You've posted a good deal, so it'll be a while before I can get started on the editing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OCArmoredCore Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 Nice to see you back at the forge. I can't wait to see this finished and in the fortress. OCAC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grand Master Belial Posted April 7, 2006 Author Share Posted April 7, 2006 Thanks! It' hasn't been worked on too much in the last few months but I'm getting there. I'm nearing the final battles and resolutions now. Oddly, I can't keep the Chapters seperated when I post back to back. They somehow link up ;) . CHAPTER VII The cruiser sidled up to its mooring at the Emperor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Are Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 Very good writing! I really enjoy the story and the language gets better and better. I am looking forward to reading the rest of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grand Master Belial Posted April 7, 2006 Author Share Posted April 7, 2006 Thanks Brother Are! I'll take this opportunity to add another Chapter. I am on 14 still. CHAPTER VIII Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erasmus Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 You know I'd almost forgotten just how good this story is. beliel please pick up you pen and keep writing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grand Master Belial Posted April 10, 2006 Author Share Posted April 10, 2006 Thanks Erasmus! Now for the next Chapter! CHAPTER IX Leviticus opened his eyes to a darkened room. Where am I? What happened? The last thing I recall was that I was charging a Deathwing terminator and then nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
==Me== Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 Wow, that is some great stuff, Belial. Well done :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grand Master Belial Posted April 10, 2006 Author Share Posted April 10, 2006 CHAPTER X Leviticus and Paschar were released from the Apothecarium a couple days later. Though ordered to light duty, there was nothing more Assiel could do for them. Leviticus and Vehuiah were together trying to improve Vehuiah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceres Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Shame it ended (sort of), lots of fun reading it during these days. Good work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grand master jack Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Good work, keep it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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