Bjorn Firewalker

I can appreciate Chapters that act completely different to those that supposedly descend from the same Primarch, as such Chapters provide many opportunities for worldbuilding, storytelling, and character development. I created one myself, in the Iron-hearted Angels, Blood Angels descendants who are as merciless towards any weakness as the Iron Hands.

I also promoted Biribiri Herrington from Gutsy Major to Lord Figma (Chapter Master).

Added the following details:

Your IA demonstrates good imagination, but there is room for improvement. These lines automatically make me suspect the Hawk Raiders are survivors from the Astral Claws and/or other Chapters that fought AGAINST THE IMPERIUM during the Badab War- a suspicion many Inquisitors will likely share, which will then get the Hawk Raiders purged. Fortunately, there are in-universe ways to reduce suspicion. The Codex Astartes specifically allows Chapters to recruit above the 1000 Marines limit, in anticipation of heavy casualties they’ll suffer in a Crusade- a loophole the Black Templars famously exploited. My proposals are to state the Hawk Raiders are a Successor Chapter of one that fought FOR THE IMPERIUM during the Badab War- one that recruited an additional 1000 Marines during the war, and afterwards, asked the Imperium for permission to Found a new Chapter for these excess Marines, to avoid violating the Codex. The Hawk Raiders will need the backing of a Chapter with unquestionable loyalty, and AT LEAST one Inquisitor, to sell the lie- but it should be plausible. Primaris Marines were unknown to the galaxy, until AFTER Roboute Guilliman was resurrected. When did the Hawk Raiders claim Antakya as their Chapter planet? Suspicion IS SUFFICIENT EVIDENCE for Inquisitors to justify killing people, hive cities, and even planets. Again, the Hawk Raiders need the backing of AT LEAST one Inquisitor, to avoid getting purged. The military rank is spelled “Sergeant,” NOT “Sargent.” If the herb is so important to the trials a youth must undergo to prove himself a Marine, it should be named. Does this herb have any effect on a latent psyker’s abilities, e.g., force these potential Space Marine Librarians to reveal their powers? And finally, as someone who read many volumes of Berserk, I wonder if you took any inspiration from the manga and its anime adaptations. Does the Hawk Raiders Chapter Master wield a power sword longer than he is tall, named “Dragonslayer”? Does he swear to claim the head of Abaddon or other Chaos Warmaster, when he ascends to the rank of Chapter Master?

I reconsidered what a flamer that projected rainbow-colored flames would be like, and decided my Marines would infuse the fuel with radium. Yes, the "rainbower" (I simplified the name) uses radioactive fuel. If your target isn't burned to death, he will die of cancer- or the Chaos Gods will bless him with a mutation, allowing him to cause more problems later. Think such a weapon is appropriate for the Unicorns Excalibur?

This is well written.

Added the following details, to give my Chapter a unique weapon:

Added additional information, and a list of links to online articles I took inspiration from- BBCodes NO LONGER WORK for links. The additional information is as follows:

Many of the board's editing tools don't seem to work for mobile systems, e.g., my smartphone. I'm forced to add the following, without additional aid:

The IA is well-written, overall, but

Suggestion for special weapons unique to the Chapter: "rainbow showers," flamers using a specially refined fuel that burns with rainbow colors. In-game, just add 1 to the Strength of all the Marines' flamers, with the ability to inflict an additional Wound if you roll a 6 on the To Wound roll.

I'm trying to edit the OP to include more details on the Chapter planets, but as you can tell by the misplaced "Spoiler" and "Quote" tags, something went wrong, forcing me to outright delete everything after a misplaced quote tag. How do I fix this? Can I change user settings so the [ quote ] and [ / quote ] labels are actually VISIBLE and editable?

I proposed using enemy models- xenos, Chaos Space Marines and Daemons, etc.- as decorations for Black Templar bases, the enemy models left unassembled but with the assembly joints painted red and white, to show how the Emperor's most ZEALOUS followers dismembered, disemboweled, and decapitated the enemies of Him on Terra. Anyone Black Templars players used xeno models this way?

Edited the OP to give additional details on the Chapter planet of Dakuwanga. The additions are as follows: I'm struggling to keep this IA the... certain kind of joke... it is. Having the Chapter planet's people mistakenly think the Marines are merMAIDS instead of mermen, due to the ballast tanks added to let their armor dive and surface the way a submarine does, seems to work. If anyone has other ideas, I'm open to suggestions.

Great ideas! Do the Marines use crysknife analogs? If the Chapter planet lacks sandworms, the knives may be made from the fangs of Laza tigers or lions (the House Corrino heraldic beast) they fight as a rite of entry into the Chapter. Named after the film studio behind Godzilla? Will you kitbash a Space Marine Stormhawk interceptor's wings and engines onto a Knight warsuit, and name the result "Mothra"? Or kitbash the wings and engines with THREE laser destroyers- one in each arm, and one replacing the head- decorating each mount with a golden dragon's jaws framing the laser destroyer, and name the result "King Ghidorah"?