Index Traitoris: The Nephilim 2.0

[The Nephilim]

+++INCOMING TRANSMISSION+++

> Analyzing vox pattern...........................................
> Vox pattern recognized.........................................
> Initiating decryption algorithm...............................
> Uploading containment protocols..........................
> Source file corrupted. Engage data salvage..............

+++Transcript 784593.79939T3A01+++

+++Captured vox recording+++

-Stactic- ...we're deep in the Koronus Expanse. System location is... [Corrupted] ...exploring derelict Gloriana Class Battleship. Vessel identified as 'The Herald of Perdition'. History expunged. Harkus, what do you think has to happen for a vessel's history to be expunged from Imperial record? Where do you think everyone went? We're gonna be rich, Harkus. Do you here me? A rogue trader would pay premium credits for this salvage. [Corrupted]

-Static- <Ragged Breathing.> What was that light?! Where did they come from? Where did they come from? Oh, Emperor protect my sorry ass! Harkus? HARKUS?! <Screaming distortion.> [Corrupted.]

-Static- This is Gaius Lachance. I don't know how long I've been hiding. They've either killed or captured everyone in the exploratory party. I can here the pulse of the plasma engines. We're moving again. Did they lure us here? I... [Corrupted.]

-Static- <Faint scrapping in the background.> They found me. They found me. Not the Astartes, oh no. No, no, no, no, no. The pretty things that lie. Clawed barbs for hands, hooves for feet. Delicate, sensuous bodies... The things they make a man think, so impure, so voluptuous. They're here. Do you hear them? <Manic laughter.> They whisper such depravity. The master tells me that I'm their plaything. Serve them I must. [Corrupted.]

-Static- <Ragged, broken screams.> <A different voice - scraping, baritone.> We're here. This is our galaxy. Forged by our hand, our lives, our blood. Too long have you thought we were myth. No longer. We're coming for you. <Screaming abruptly stops, wet gurges briefly follow then stop.> We the ++Data redacted. Inquisitor clearance insufficient.++ are coming. Praise ++Data redacted. Inquisitor clearance insufficient.++. Look to the skies. <Keening distortion, followed by whispers.>

+++Inquisitor clearance insufficient for remaining transcription.+++

+++Remaining transmission corrupted beyond repair.+++

+++End transcript 784593.79939T3A01+++
+++Thought of the Day: All souls cry out for salvation.+++
+++END TRANSMISSION+++

The Legions Shatter

"For good or evil, may no Space Marine forget where he came from." –The Emperor of Mankind

When Horus failed to slay the Emperor in the Siege of Terra, the Emperor’s Children fell back to the Eye of Terror. Capturing slaves and pillaging systems as they went, the legion began to fracture. When Fulgrim’s legion reached the Eye of Terror, what little order remained within the Emperor’s Children crumbled. Fulgrim abandoned his sons after his battle with Roboute Guilliman and left the commanders of his companies grasping for the reins of power. Feuds erupted and warring factions fell upon one another. Individual lords rose and fell, companies shattered and reformed until there was precious little left of the original legion. Some of the remaining fractured companies went deeper the Eye of Terror, seeking their lost Primarch, while other fractious warbands, battled across the Eye of Terror against each other and against remaining defeated traitor legions for supplies, slaves and territory.

The Rising of the Phoenix

“The Siege of Terra was the beginning of the end for our glorious Legion. When Horus failed us against the Emperor, all was lost. We followed our brothers to the Eye, slaughtering and enslaving entire systems at our pleasure. Fulgrim left us. Horus failed us. We have fallen on our own blades with petty infighting. We’ve grown complacent, a mere shadow of the glory we once embodied: the perfection of all of the Warmaster’s legions. We lost our way, my brothers.” –Aleister Valerius, Lord Commander of the Nephilim

Aleister Valerius

Aleister Valerius, once a notable lieutenant of the illustrious 3rd Company under the command of Marius Vairosean. Aleister embodied the ideals of the III legion set forth by Fulgrim: vainglorious, precise and above all, calculating. For a brief time, Aleister was seconded to the Night Lords prior to the Emperor’s censure of Konrad Curze. Though his time with the VIIIth legion was short, Aleister returned forever changed. Once a flamboyant dilettante, he returned a cold-eyed killer; where he once felt joy and excitement he was now the epitome of icy perfection. Aleister’s face once a mirror of his primarch’s golden effulgence, now a skinless, raw affront to the Emperor’s Children sensibilities.When Marius was slain by the Iron Hands filth, Ignatius Numen, Aleister competed fiercely to replace his slain captain, viewing it as both his duty and rightful inheritance. Aligning himself closely with Fabius Bile and his fleshsmiths, Aleister Valerius positioned himself to rise quickly within the ranks of the Emperor’s Children.

Aleister Valerius, once a second captain of the 3rd Company elite of the Emperor’s Children, battled endlessly across the Eye of Terror securing the future of his warband. Much like his inspiration and fallen commander Vairosean, he was emotionless, cold and calculating in assembling those loyal to him, the original ideals set forth by Fulgrim and the lessons instilled by his time with the Night Lords. Aleister forged alliances with the Dark Adeptus and brought as many of the smaller warbands under his banner. Using guile, charisma and force of arms, the warband expanded. Infamous for seeking out a rival Emperor’s Children forces, he would engage the leaders of the warbands in one-on-one combat and absorb the warband into his own, those who dissented, slain with their fallen leader, their gene-seed reclaimed. Aleister has a particular ritual in which he carefully removes and preserves the face of worthwhile opponent and surgically places his over own facial musculature.

Valerius molded his warband into an amalgamation of IIIrd legion martial perfection and unrelenting warpcraft. The apothecaries of the Nephilim continued their quest for genetic perfection, performing horrifying experiments on both the willing legionnaires and terrified slaves. Aleister expanded the Kakophoni program and worked closely with Fabius Bile and the Nephilim's own fleshsmiths perfecting the noise marine surgeries. Expanding his own knowledge of warpcraft he recruited sorcerers and daemonologists, experimenting with possession and summoning.

The Exodus

"As we destroy what we once built, there are fewer wonders than there were. Feast on this one, and as we slaughter in it's shadow, remember that we, the children of Terra, once dreamed to accomplish." -Eidolon, Lord Commander Primus of the Emperor's Children, prior to the defense of the Kalium Gate

The Keeper of Secrets

“Long shall be your suffering. Joyous be your pain.” – Asteroth, Daemon Prince of Slaanesh

The Coming of the Covens

As the Legion rapidly fell after the events of Istvaan, the remaining chaplains began to preach ascension through perfection.The flesh-weaving apothecaries carried out their works on willing subjects, constantly expanding upon their already vast understanding of physiology. As the Legion began to dabble in warpcraft, it was only time before repressed psykers began to explore more avenues of power.To have once flown so close to the sun, only to have fallen so far.

[The Nephilim]

This will be a continued work in progress as I re-imagine and rework what the Nephilim are and who I want them to be. For my old fans, worry not, I'm keeping quite a few of my old ideas.

[The Nephilim]

Added section, The Keeper of Secrets, which is not finished. Scouring my brain for new inspirations. I'm wanting to take things in a new direction. I'm wanting the Nephilim to be the 40k remnants of the 3rd Company Elite. I'm tossing a lot of the old crap out, but trying to keep some of the original flavor.

[The Nephilim]

After reading only the first couple chapters of Path of Heaven, I need to rework the Exodus section. Added side panel: The Coming of the Covens.

[The Nephilim]

Seriously struggling today. Every idea I've come up with today I feel like South Park with "the Simpsons did it." More than anything, I feel a lack of original ideas. I'm pondering scrapping most of my old writing. My current ideas are incompatible with what I want to achieve.

Today's thought processes:

1. The Nephilim are the present day remnants of the Emperor's Children 3rd Company. If the first statement is true, are they not in fact just Emperor's Children ala AD-B's Night Lords?
2. If they are similar to AD-B's Night Lords, they are in fact a warband. Joining with other Legion remnants in times of need or at the behest of the Warmaster.
3. Seriously, :cuss Abaddon.
4. The premise of the Exodus has to be reworked. As mentioned in Path of Heaven, mutation was already running rampant.
5. I imagine useless mutations would be surgically removed while the more useful ones are probably surgically enhanced.
6. Since the Exodus needs reworked, it would be best to scrap most of the narrative and start fresh.
7. Keep the Devadasi and Naergoni tribes. That :cuss was inspired and collaborated with some of your favorite creative minds in the Liber.
8. Keep the Coming of the Covens and Aleister side panels. Also good work.
9. Stop staring at nine. Tzeentch does not favor lack of creativity.
10. Speaking of Tzeentch, I do want to keep this mono-god themed. Slaanesh is the best, after all. Slaanesh and friends.
11. Unlike GW fiction and stories regarding Chaos Lords and their pet sorcerers, I do not want a competitive/rival story arch. They're either veteran badass battle-brothers or one is the dominate personality and the other is submissive.
12. Heh. Dom/sub. That pleases Slaanesh.
13. The Herald of Perdition is the flagship of the warband. Need to come up with a few escorts for the battle barge.
14. I need more coffee.

http://i392.photobucket.com/albums/pp7/jstead2/Memes/HorusHeresy-IWasThere.jpg

[Dizzyeye01]

While you do have a good start for the Origins, I wonder where you see the warband ending up? Perhaps the Exodus can be the crucible for your warband that see's them completing their transformation into what you want.

 

With whats been written above it feels to me like tge warband would their strength much like the Night Lords operare in AD-Bs books where they scavenge everything along with using and turning on weakened allies to bolster the warbands own numbers so that they can hunt down the eldar that tried exterminating them in the first place along with making offerings to Slaanesh through their spirit stones.

[Bloodwraith]

I have enjoyed this so far.  Do not fixate on the fact that one of your ideas has been done or is similar to something someone else has done.  The trick is to take the concept and make it your own. At this point it is very difficult to come up with something even on the fringes of the lore that has not been "done" before.  This is your I.A. so take it where you want to go and don't let those small plot speed bumps distract you. You have a very solid beginning here. I would say one way to attack this is focus on developing the personalities, traits and character development of your leader and the sorcerer. In 40k, marines, both loyal and traitor, tend to reflect the attitudes and beliefs of their leaders so one way to develop you chapter is decide who you want them to be first.  Just a suggestion. Look forward to reading more.

[The Nephilim]

While you do have a good start for the Origins, I wonder where you see the warband ending up? Perhaps the Exodus can be the crucible for your warband that see's them completing their transformation into what you want.

 

With whats been written above it feels to me like tge warband would their strength much like the Night Lords operare in AD-Bs books where they scavenge everything along with using and turning on weakened allies to bolster the warbands own numbers so that they can hunt down the eldar that tried exterminating them in the first place along with making offerings to Slaanesh through their spirit stones.

I envision my warband being more of a legion remnant, much larger than AD-B's Night Lords. More than anything else, I'm a diehard fan of the Traitor Legions. I want that flavor to extend into my IA. Something close to Krieg Acerbus. I've moved recently, recently being subjective, and I don't want to focus on the Eldar as I don't know what my new meta contains. They'll be a small part of the narrative, perhaps, but a lot is about to change.

 

I have enjoyed this so far.  Do not fixate on the fact that one of your ideas has been done or is similar to something someone else has done.  The trick is to take the concept and make it your own. At this point it is very difficult to come up with something even on the fringes of the lore that has not been "done" before.  This is your I.A. so take it where you want to go and don't let those small plot speed bumps distract you. You have a very solid beginning here. I would say one way to attack this is focus on developing the personalities, traits and character development of your leader and the sorcerer. In 40k, marines, both loyal and traitor, tend to reflect the attitudes and beliefs of their leaders so one way to develop you chapter is decide who you want them to be first.  Just a suggestion. Look forward to reading more.

Thanks, Bloodwraith. I want to avoid many of the mistakes I first made in my Nephilim 1.0. I'm about to do a 180 though in a completely different direction. I've got some amazing ideas I'm working on unleashing. Mostly centered around Aleister. He will shape the Nephilim into an entirely new, yet familiar beast.

[The Nephilim]

Updated "The Rising of the Phoenix" and the side panel "Aleister Valerius". Removed outdated background. More incoming soon. Working on trying to overcome a head cold, but the Dark Prince demands more!

[The Nephilim]

Added vox transmission flavor text. Let me know if that needs any work.