Jump to content

Welcome to The Bolter and Chainsword
Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to create topics, post replies to existing threads, give reputation to your fellow members, get your own private messenger, post status updates, manage your profile and so much more. If you already have an account, login here - otherwise create an account for free today!
Photo

1.5 Knights of the Blood Oak


  • Please log in to reply
47 replies to this topic

#1
gripschi

gripschi

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 137 posts
  • Location:Germany

Chapter Name:.............................Knights of the Blood Oak

Founding:....................................12th

Chapter World:.............................Valloncour and Surrounding Fiefdom, permanent Outpost in Tjured Sector

Fortress Monastery:.....................Port Raven Tower (Relic Star Port)

Gene-Seed (Predecessor):............XIII Legion (Ultramarines)

Known Descendants:..................None

 

 

Origin

 

They are part of the 12th, founded in the later half of M35. The Imperium threatened due the loss of many Astartes Chapters and the contentious infighting,were in dire need for new Defenders, especially after the Nova Terra Interregnum.

 

The Tjured Sector, suddenly now a Frontier Sector, struggled, there former guardians, the „Knights of the Ashen Tree“ Astartes, seemingly destroyed or crippled beyond help. Therefore the new born chapter should inherit their livery and possessions and take up their Duty to once again defend the Sector.

 

Due to the massive scale of simulations founding‘s and therefore a Shortage of personnel, there weren‘t any Veterans to guide them. The complete Officer Cadre, where formed out of the promising Marines they produced.

Upon there Arrival, it became transparent that some administrative Error occurred. The Knights of the Ashen Oak, still served in the Sector, but struggled to regain compliance and Security in the new Northern Frontier Regions of the Sector.

After a brief council between the Chapters, they choose the Name „Knights of the Blood Oak“ for themselves. To honor the Founder of the Sector and represent the constant regrowth of the Imperium.

 

As a departure gift, they handed them several small Oaks saplings, of the Line of the Tree, Saint Tjured once died upon. With them came several Serfs to care for them and train there Successors.

Beside this Gifts, the Ashen Knights choose to sent of several of there Brothers too. These were hardened Veterans, serving as advisors and able to guide there New Brothers through the difficult Phase of establish a Foundation.  

 

After this the Chapter headed towards the Frontier World Valloncour. In tow with there own Fleet where a Department of the Imperial Church, mostly younger ones who seek to serve in the Frontiers and lay down the foundation of believe. Beside them were several new Navy Groups to start patrol the Region.

 

After there Arrival the Chapter undertook many Campaigns to clear out the myriads Threats. On each Planet they freed, they helped to develop a Infrastructure and Administration. Involving themselves with the Humans to ensure they leave behind a World which are sufficient prepare to further grow on there own. The seconded Veterans proofed to be invaluable, they took over leading Positions and help them to find there own way.

 

During the Centuries before Sebastian Thor emerged, the Chapter slowly adapted the Sight of the Emperor as a God. In the most humble way, they started to imprint this believe on the Worlds they Conquered and cooperate with the local Church.

In conclusion, they choose to form a Fiefdom in the Cluster around Valloncour and build a strong Foundation for further Expansions on this 18 Worlds.

 

Different Views, started to fragment the Sectors Organizations. A growing unrest under the peoples, a fateful Revelation from the Eldar and the ruinous powers of chaos, set the Sector on fast rails to a bloody and dark future.

This reached its bloody conclusion on the Shrine World of Iskendriar. Which is later known as the 3 King Battle, were officially 3 Astartes Chapters battled the Great Foe and rung Victory at Great Costs. The Sector lost his Galleon Figure and were left with tow nearly devastated Chapters.

 

Without the Eldar, the Battle would have been lost, this and the truth of the exact events are hidden beneath adamant walls. If ever lifted, the whole Sector and the Chapters, will most likely fall with it.

 

As a result of this the Blood Knights, choose to involve themselves in the whole Sector as they did in there Fiefdom.  

 

Gene Seed

 

She is stable and pure, nothing less to be excepted from there Gene line. All organs work at peak efficiency.

 

Hidden behind a thick veil of Secrets linger a certain Complication. In each generation of Astartes are a handful Individuals with supreme Charisma which develop a Pseudo-Blank Aura against Eldar.

 

The prophets

 

Around the rise of Sebastian Thor, 6 unique Astartes rose to the rank of Chaplains. Each of them was believed to be touched by the grace of the Emperor himself. Whenever they spoke, something inside the believers resonate, inspiring them to heroic deeds against the foe.

 

Soon they begun to receive fragment of a prophecy, which spoke about a boar headed being, trying to open a forgotten Gate up. Vaguely humanoid figures seemingly fight him once to prevent this fate. Not humans but something close to it...the Eldar it dawned on them.

 

After they were able to pinpoint a Eldar Force, a Farseer approached the prophets. In this meeting many secrets were revealed and a Alliance proposed. The „boar headed“ is a ancient Greater Lord of Change, who once nearly invaded the Web Way. And that they were born as direct response of the dark force growing too fast and too much.

 

To there dismay, he currently posses the Chapter Master of the Ashen Knights and vast parts of the church are under his control. Pooling vast resources towards Iskendriar, in order to excavate the long buried gate there.   

 

Pressed as time were critical, the Chapter spread word of the prophets to the church, declaring change is coming. Plunge the Church Upper Ranks in chaos and provoke a rushed crusade against them, pooling important Assets away from Iskendriar and open up a hole in the Defence.

 

At the height of there fight against the Boar Headed, a seventh prophet revealed his role, the Chief Librarian of the Ashen Knights. 6 gave there souls to seal the Demon away, the 7th and strongest projected the vast powers and formed 6 Keys which the Farseer bound in swords.

 

His Armour turned black during this and all insignia vanish along the colour and his powers. After the deed finish and Reinforcement arrived his words were:

 

There are no more prophets...

 

Later he was elected as New unified Chapter Master and choose to hide his true identity. After the reestablishment of the High Lords of Terra, he reported that all prophets sacrificed themselves and died as martyr against the Great Foe. 

 

 

Beliefs

 

Unusual among the vast majority of Chapters, they venerate the Emperor as a God. Similiar to the foundation laid out in the Lectitio Divinatus. They are humble servants of him, trying to protect Humanity with all there might.

 

But they rarely fought alongside other armed Forces outside of the Tjured Sector. Seldom they choose to participate in a Crusade. Even when, they show disdain towards most of the Imperial Cult and invest themselves with the Fighting Forces of the Army or Navy.

 

 

Battlefield Doctrine

 

There Battlefield Tactics center around a Rapid Strike Doctrine. Specially around them of the „Rapid Dominance“.

 

They apply overwhelming Power in a spectacular Display of Might and Destruction to obliterate the Enemy HQ and other important Points. They sew the fright in the heart of there Foes, letting them know, the Emperors Justice is coming.

 

In mobile Battles they constantly put pressure on the Enemy, in form of rapidly changing the approach on how they attack. In one moment they run havoc on the Supply Lines, then relentless attack a fortified position just to break through the Lines again and leave there Territory.

 

What look like random maneuvers, are in reality carefully orchestrated preparations to lure or shift the enemy in the right position. The goal is a final battle of annihilation and wipe him out utterly with all available means.    

 

Due there regular Operations in Urban Areas, they developed several Tactics around surgical Strikes which remove the Enemy in a Spectacular Way, to imprint awe and Power to the Masses.

 

Damage on Civilians and Infrastructure is a regular event in Battles. But they try to minimizes destruction and Losses as much as possible. But they don‘t let themself drag in futile Fights over it, if necessary they sacrifice and retreat from there.    

 

 

Organization

 

The Chapter drifted over the Time slightly away from the Codex Layout. For them the Codex is more a valuable Guide rather then a holy and unchangeable tome. The revisions were joyfully adapted and used.

 

Due the fact, that they are 2 Chapters, they are significant overmanned but successfully hide this fact for prying eyes. Officially the Ashen Knights were never destroyed or dissolved.

 

Today they are formed as following:

 

The Chapter is formed in 7 Great Houses with about 300 Astartes at each. They are called as following: Lions, Dragons, Bulls, Horses, Tower, Chains and Axes. Each animal/tool is the Banner of them and engraved beside the Blood Oak in the Heraldic of each Marine.

 

They are formed in 6 Company‘s, each in 5 Lances. Each House has its own Detachment of Tech Marines and Apothecary. Furthermore they are responsible for maintain there Equipment and refill there Ranks beside there Major Recruit Area.

The shared Industrial Base of the fiefdom provide them with steady supplies but they are still encouraged to be self sufficient too. In terms of Ships it is normal to repair them at there Star Port rather then at the local Facilities.

 

Throughout the entire Sector the Chapter build Keeps in various sizes. The greatest are Fortresses at there own, the smallest not larger then a mid sized Building. Only the most important ones have a standing Guarding Force. The local Brothers seek new recruits and start there Basic Training after a small screening.

 

Hidden beneath them the Chapter has a secret Organization, the Blood Circle. Each of them, knew the full History and the implications from it. They wage a War in the Shadows against the remnants of this terrible foe.

 

These chosen Astartes undergo a hard training in all Ways of Espionage and Guerrilla Warfare. Further in leading the mortal Agents of the Order. When they finished there Training, they will slowly take up the Role as „Eyes of the Chapter“.

 

For this Goal, they created a large and tightly leaded Information network throughout the Sector. Seeking traces of the Enemy and coordinate the destruction of Cults and corrupt Persons.

Nearly all important Organization are infiltrated by mortal serfs. They are in effective control of all Information Streams and alter them as necessary.

 

The prying Eyes of the Inquisition tried time over time again to gain a foothold. As far every attempt meet a quick and decisive end.      

 

The vast amount of Information‘s are filtered and provided to the other parts of the Chapter too.

 

 

Ranks

 

Chapter Marshall (Leader of the Chapter)

House Marshall (Leader of a Great House)

Knight Chaplain

Knight Captain

Knight Lieutenant

Knight Sergeant

Knight

Novice

 

Heptarch (Spiritual Leader of a Great House)

Knight Chaplain

Knight Confessor

Knight Brother

 

Kommtur(Leader of a Chapter Keep)

Kommender (Member of a Chapter Keeps Guard)

 

Great Warden (Leader of Honour Guard)

Knight Warden (Honour Guard)

Apothecary

Para-Medicaid

Tech marine

Constructor

Quartered (Astartes who retired from active Duty to train the new Generation)

 

Grand Blood Knight (Leader of Blood Circle)

Knight of Blood Eye (Leading Member of Blood Circle)

Knight of Blood (Member of the Blood Circle)

Seeker of Blood (Mortal Members of the Blood Circle)

 

 

Warden Guard

 

The Service in the WG is mandatory for all Battle Brothers, who wish to ascend to leadership roles inside the Chapter.

 

The Service Start by Accompanying the Chapter Marshall, to learn various Non Combat Skills and to further bind there loyalty towards the Chapter as whole. After they finish there additional training, they get seconded to one of the House Marshall's. With this Tradition, the Chapter ensure that the Officers knew the other Houses well too and are able to cooperate.

 

 

Chapter Culture

 

Growing up with the Imperial Cult in a developing Frontier Region, the Chapter maintain a humble believe and a tight connection with there People in the Sector and Fiefdom. On Holy Days and Important Dates, the Chapter sent Brothers to participate in them, showing the People there Protectors are still here and the Emperors Light too.

 

There Daily life, beside the prosecution of War, is centered around the worship of the Emperor. Each day they start with a honest prayer toward him. After a small breakfast, the daily workouts begins, on late noon, the daily holy mess is planned.

 

The mess is lead in change by the Chapters Spiritual Leaders and the Serfs Highest Spiritual Leader. Each envelope around a certain theme. After the Holy Rites, all Brothers are encouraged to participate int he following discussions and to lay out there opinion in honest.

 

They understand themselves as unworthy Guardians of the Empire, to fulfill the Will of the Emperor, beloved by all. When they take a new World or retake a lost one, the Chapter spent a significant amount of time on these ones. Helping to build a Core Infrastructure and a proper Government, beside these, they lay the bedrock for a humble believe in the Emperor. These Worlds get visit regular, to ensure the following of the tenants and to look for impurity.

 

On each Capital Ship and Great Chapter Keeps, they have several Oaks, successors of the original ones they once received. They believe that in each of them run a drop of Saint Tjured‘s Blood, provide them with strength in dire times.

Each of these Trees is under careful care of old Serf Families, which spent there entire Life toward there Holy Duty.

They tent the Trees and remove regular branches and other small parts. The small pieces, got further processed with old techniques, it got mixed with transparent Plasteel, pressed in many pre fabricated forms of various shapes and sizes.

Only for the Officers and Ceremonial Weapons the Serfs use bigger branches. With extensive amounts of time and craftsmanship, each piece is a unique and beautiful piece of art. High regarded and vauled by the Owners. It is not uncommon, if such a weapon get lost, that the Astartes undertook great deeds to recover them.

 

When a Novice finished his Training and is ready to join the Ranks, he got as a sing his golden spores and wood ornaments for his Weapons. Along with them, he receive his personal Livery. On the Heart Side of it, is the Blood Oak, on the other the Symbol of the Great House. Over them, he is allowed to choose a Symbol of his own. Beneath them and on the Outskirt, are additional markings to represent deed and misdeeds.

 

With these gift, the Story behind them get wrote down in great tomes. It is to remember the Brother and to have a proof if his Identity is compromised. A copy of it get regular updated to the other Houses Library.

 

A Unique tradition, inspired from the Equites Rhenus, is that Astartes which received grave wounds or faced there breaking point, are allowed to retire in one of the Keeps and to engage in the Selection and Training of New Aspirant. They get a fourth Symbol for there Heredity which represent this.

 

If a Astartes fell, his remnants got sealed in a Sarcophagus and later transported to his last rest place. Each Generation and Group of Aspirants, build during there Training, there own Home. Each is affected by the Training World, on Valloncour there are vast valleys of Towers. On other Worlds they carve holes in the Mountains as homes.

 

The Serf Households tasked with maintenance, bury them and perform the last rites there.

 

Recruitment

 

Unlike most Astartes Chapters, they go full on quantity over quality. The recruits would be shaped and seed out over the course of there their Training Regime. The bulk of them undergo their training in the Fiefdom and get later distribute toward the other Great Houses. Which recruit by themselves too, the relying on only one Facilitate had to be avoid.

 

 

The necessary conditions are the youth are four to seven years of age, no mutation or heavily malformed limbs, no serious Illness. If they pass, training is determined to start instantly.

All tough only boys are able to become Astartes, the Chapter take girls in too. After the selection process they get handed over to various Households of Chapter Serfs, to ensure a healthy Population and steady influx of Replacements.

 

 

Training

 

To ensure that only the toughest and best make it into the training, is brutal and quickly weeds out the weak and unworthy, which are not tolerated. The surviving ones of the initial training regime, are further tested to determine there Strengths and Weaknesses. Based on this results they got transferred to fitting Companies and Bases.

 

The minds and characters of the young prospective recruits, are purposefully broken and remade stronger, just as their bodies are trained to to withstand hardship and endure suffering that would kill grown men -- a task already begun by the mere fact of get selected by the Chapter. With this, they get deeply ingrained a unwavering belief in the God-Emperor.    

 

Only those boys, who didn't‘t meet the requirements of become a Astartes, but successfully endure their training, are transferred to mixed gender companies. Later these will join one of the various Chapter Households and work there for the Chapter. Artisans, Workers, crew men, technicians and various others are every time in demand.

 

The selected Ones, got reorganized and tasked with the building of there own home and later grave. The process vary from World to World, but it is a hard labor without advanced tools. On Valloncour they erected Towers, other where they excavated a hole in a mountain.

 

 

Hidden in the Process, are the Selectors of the Blood Circle, which look for new Recruits for there Ranks too. The bulk of them are chosen out of the Ones who cant join the Ranks of the Astartes.

 

Home-world

 

They claim several Worlds as there private Fiefdom, but still apply to the Rules of the Administratum. Only exception is Valloncour itself. The Main Continent is well developed and is the Seat of the Fiefdoms Administration and other related Sector Organizations. Therefore they got granted a low Tithe Grade, due the double Role as Astartes Home-world and Administrative Body.

 

The Sub Continents Landscape is covered with vast Training and Industrial Facilities of the Chapter. The large Manufacturias are small Fortes-Complexes, with highly trained and well equipped Guard Forces. These are built with this role in mind and every corner and Habitat Block is a defensive post if necessary. The Manufacturias are covered in Void Shields and Arrays of Weapons.

 

In the Orbit near the Gravity Pool, is there Space Monastery located. The old Star Port is a relic of the Dark Age of Technology, but lost much of its former beauty and Technology in the millennia between humanity‘s rise and nearly second fall.

 

History

 

Valloncour

 

It was the first settled World in the new Frontier Region in the Mid of M35. For nearly a millennia it was a rough and unfriendly place. Few developed Cities and mostly no law in the Vast Plains. This changed rapidly after the Knights of the Blood Oak took the old Star Port under there control and started patrol the Space.

 

In the beginning the Chapter was to busy in establish there Headquarter and securing the Supply Lines from the Main-Sector toward the Frontier. After clearing out the immediate Threads, the need of a stable recruitment base rise, the Port don‘t host enough suitable children.

 

Due the new founded Safety, immigration rose up and with the help of the local Spirituals the Chapter build a foundation to take in suitable Children. After all, many lose there parents on the Way or in the Harsh Environment of there new Homes. The Church offered to take these orphans in and relief the growing Communities.

 

Under a Stewardship Rule from the Astartes and Church, the World evolved to a busy centre of the expanding frontier. The main continent developed towards a Administrative Centre and Supply Depot for the expanding Fiefdom.

 

The smaller Sub Continents were taken under direct control of the Chapter, which slowly build there Industrial Base on them. In the more remote or bad accessible Areas the Training Facilities get located, providing natural training habitats.

 

Over the Millennia the Fiefdom grew to a formidable Power within the Sector, it grew to the second largest producer of War gear and other Supplies. And still provide the Astartes with a steady influx of able recruits and Serfs.  

  

 

 

Raven tower

 

The Design of the Port resemble that of very old ones, once used on Terra‘s Oceans. The largest Bay allow the accommodation of the greatest Capital Ships available to men. The Smaller ones easily allow Cruiser Sized Vessels to anchor there. The dry yards inside the Station, can take vessels up to Light Cruisers inside.

 

The hull and frame are built out of nearly indestructible material similar to Adamantium. Further reinforced by additional plating and arrays of Shield Generators alongside countless Weapon Battery‘s. Easily able to withstood the Fire Power of a Battle fleet.

 

The name giving tower, is a huge spire centered in the mid of the actual station part. The lower floors are filled with quarters for the vast workforce needed to operate it smoothly. The mid floors house the Organizational Staff and function as Command Center.

 

The upper Floors are reserved by the Chapter itself. Hangar Bays allow them to bypass the lower floors. Beside Quarters for the Guards, they have there the oldest Trees and a museum which display there many battle honors.

The Highest Levels are remodeled in a Cathedral to honor the Emperor, in this place new Marshals and other High Ranking Astartes are formally introduced. Normal Battle Brothers are honored to walk in this Halls.  

 

During the extensive refit with help of the Adepts of the Forge World „Serpents Pit“, a ancient name plate were discovered on the Basement of the Spire. After a careful restoration, the Name „turris corvi“, translated in low Gothic: „Tower of the old Raven“, but mostly know as the Raven tower.

 

In the few remained Data Logs and Blueprints, the Adepts and Tech Crews were able to extract many incomplete Technology's. In extensive Research and carefully Experiments with Prototypes, they put them piece of piece together again. Only to run in the problems of missing knowledge to produce specific parts for them.

 

There most prized and used is the Raven Pattern Plasma Thruster for Vessels up to Cruiser Size. This Thruster‘s use a fourth less room by 85% output, which is neglect able due the tonnage and size reduction. Due the expensive Production only the Chapters and Mechanicus Ships are refitted with them.

 

 

Primaris Marines

 

They quickly introduced full Primaris Formations to reinforce there depleted Troops after the Conclusion of the Northern War. Fleet Secundus provided the Chapter with 300 Primaris and there War gear and Production Process.

 

The first introduction was seen with mixed feelings, they re-founded the depleted prestigious Great House of the Lions. Which took heavy losses and were on the brink of extinction. But these new brothers strive to proof themselves in battle to earn the respect of there older Brothers.

 

After there first Battles, the wary about them vanished alongside the feeling of replacement. Urged from there fellow Senior Astartes, most choose to attend the Faith Activities to see for themselves.  After realizing it wasn‘t blind belief, many choose to fully participate in these Ways and gain a better understanding. Only a few disdained Primaris were free to decline joining Chapter and return to the Crusade.

 

After they were fully introduced to there New house, the remaining Artisans worked hard to provide them with there own Heraldic. The Chapter as whole decided to produce only Primaris furthermore.

 

 

The Rubicon

 

Due the still demanding Fights and high failure Rate, the Process is banned for the foreseeable future.

 

Equipment

 

The Bays of there Armoury are filled with a vast variety of War gear. They are able to produce almost all available Equipment, only advanced Weapons like Plasma Thrower or Anti Grav Engines are the exception.

 

Blessed with a strong Industrial Base, they are able to outfit all there Companies with enough Bikes, Rhino and Thunderhawks Variants to fully Mechanize them if needed.  

 

As Power Armour they use a advanced and customized Mark VII Plate based on the Mark VI Design. The smother Movements are sought during there fast fought battles.

Due the complete lack of Terminator Armour, they added the „Mark III“ used by the Equites Rhenus as there lesser Equivalent.

 

They adopted several Layouts of Astra Millitarum War machines specifically the Leman Russ Tanks various ones for greater flexibility for there Rhinos.

 

There Chapter Fleet lack Capital Ships besides there Battle Barges, which act more as mobile HQ then Line breaker. To accommodate this, they field various modified Strike Cruiser originate from the versatile Lunar Class.

 

Each Ship is build on a standardized modular base, which allow a easy replacement of damaged parts and adding of prefabricated ones. This approach force the Yards to work precisely to fit replacement exactly in it. The most sophistic Systems were not installed, instead they choose more common ones, to reduce the workload after heavy battles and to utilize there modular approach.

 

 

Notable Battles

 

3 King Battle - Alliance with the others-Dark Secret

 

During the religious uproar, caused by Sebastian Thor‘s appearance, the Tjured Sector and his Guardians slid into a bloody spiral which erupted in a Civil War between the Astartes.

 

At the height of the Raid of Iskendriar, elements of 3 Astartes Chapters fought in the Void and in the Church Palace among themselves. At its conclusion,with help of the Eldar they managed to a banish a Greater Lord of Change.

 

 

The Scourge-Golden City Massacre

 

After the 3 King Battle, the remainder of the Astartes Chapters started a purging of the Imperial Cult and all affiliate Organizations. With help of the Eldar again, they were able to lure most of the traitors or unknowingly helpers, to the Golden City of Aniscans. There the entire population was put to the sword.

 

Afterwards the Chapters hide the dark truth and the Blood Circle, started a ongoing War in the Twilight against the remnants of the Foe.

 

War over the Northern Heights-Return of the Boar-the void

 

Around Mid M41, the activity of Chaos Cults and Pirates started to increase over the Whole Sector. This forced the Sector to invest steadily more Assets there. Wary of this, the Blood Knights increased there presence too.

 

With the Great Rift opening, the Boar Headed announced his return and a bloody War break lose. Chaos Forces swapped the Northern Heights, the Worlds fought a bloody battle of survival. If not for the actions of the Astartes, many would have fallen.

 

Under great costs and the help of the Indomitus Crusade, the Eldar were able to ignite a old weapon. Which fully eradicated nearly half of the Northern Heights, only left a complete void, bare of anything. In it is the Board Headed trapped, slowly fading away.  

 

 

 

Relations

 

Adeptus Mechanicus- oath bound with the Adepts of Serpents Pit

 

Rouge Trader Dynasty „Nebukadnezzar“ - a necessary evil which proofed its worth time over time again

 

Imperial Church - most shun them for there humble and worldly view and that they purged the one in there sector

 

Equites Rhenus - Bound through there Intervention on Iskendriar a mutual Friendship developed

 

The Crescent Rose Chapters of the Adeptus Soritas - founded in the wake of the Purge and ascendance of Sebastian Thor, fought regular side by side


Edited by gripschi, 24 July 2021 - 08:18 AM.

  • Brother Lunkhead, The_Bloody and Kelborn like this

#2
Kelborn

Kelborn

    ++ LECTOR HOSPITIS ++

  • ++ MODERATI ++
  • 5,315 posts
  • Location:Germany
  • Faction: Do bookmarks count?
I read those great novels back in the day.
You've picked a rich source of inspiration with the daemon, possible Aeldari arch enemies and such.

Are you planning to do some demonic corruption in their past, as well?
  • gripschi likes this

Lost Legion, the Predators                                                     Liber Astartes Swap Challenge 2019   

 tn_gallery_87379_12273_68539.jpg gallery_26154_15777_13780.png 

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

This is my mod voice. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My mod voice is a means to an end.

Let us avoid it, alright?


#3
gripschi

gripschi

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 137 posts
  • Location:Germany
With the Alderii as Archenemy, i thought over that. Maybe something in there Past, Killing there Chapter Master.

About a Devanthar Plot, could be the Reason for there Shift towards the Religious Culture.

Something Like Manipulation of the Church and in Extension the Chapter. To trick them in a Crusade against the Alderii.

A Secret, only known to few.

#4
gripschi

gripschi

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 137 posts
  • Location:Germany
Short Idea:

The First Chapter Master, was the Sole surviour of a Engagement. Unkown to all, he was switched with a Demon, who had a Agenda against the Eldar.

After His trioumphous Return, He converted slowy to a Holy Men, touched by the Emperor. A Magnificat Astartes, who rally His Chapter to unknown Highs.

To fullfill His plans, He need Power, more then One Chapter. The Rise of the Church and Struggle of the Adminisatrum gave the perfect Opornuity.

They save a midrank Bischof, and etalbished a Relation with the Church. Last was eager to gain such a usefull Tool. Soon the Chapter acted as Protectors, eradicated several Rebellions, Xenos and Pirates.

Which accelerated the growth of the Sector. After some Centurys, the Church declared a Crusade to free a Fallen Shrineworld, which got eradicated through Eldars.

Unkown to all, this was a Plot from the Demon, who installed several Puppetes throught the Church.

A enormus Fleet, Troops and Pilgrims gatherd, leaded by the Astartes, as Holy Enforcers.

By there Arriving, they immedatiley got Attacked by the Eldars. With brute Force, they Break through and Made Planetfall.

At the Climax of the Battle, they attemp to seal a Webway Gate. Which got stubbornly defend by the Eldars, which saw the Theart to them. Not Sealing tge Gate, the Ritual would Rip it Apart, Leading to vast Demon Hordes inside the Webway.

Through some shemes, a Troop of Harlequins, conntacted the Master of the Libarium, Reval the truth too him.

Who they achived it is lost. But he helped the Eldar to kill him. The Eldar sealed the Webway Gate, to blind the Enemy.

The dead Demon, got Not revaled, this Knowledge would easely Torn Apart the Chapter and Crusade alike.

The truth, got passed down from Master Libarium to the next.



So short Idea written down. Before i forget it :)

Any Ideas and Critics are Welcome.

#5
Brother Lunkhead

Brother Lunkhead

    ++ ANTICUS ÆSALON ++

  • ++ MODERATI ++
  • 1,957 posts
  • Location:Radlands of Merica
  • Faction: Praetorian Sword, Ultramarines

Hail gripschi,

 

I like your draft for the Knights of the Blood Oak. It all looks very promising. I've not read any of Bernhard Hennen's works, so I'm not familiar with the reference, but it seems very interesting.

 

One of the words you use to describe the Chapter puzzles me.

 

gripschi  Posted 16 February 2020 - 01:47 PM
 
I envision them as a rather devious and Zealous Order. Burning in there Hatred towards there enemies. But cold hearted in Fights, eager to Take the enemy Out with evry aviable (spelling) Means.
 

"Devious" doesn't quite fit with your description. Do you perhaps mean "ruthless"? That would seem a better fit. "Devious" implies that they might be Machiavellian, and dishonorable. You again use the word "devious" here:

 

Installing a devious Regime, few Worlds have rebelled after such a Change. Even fewer sucesfull avoided the righterous Anger.

 

A devious regime might create a certain amount of chaos within planetary leadership through infighting in the quest for power and influence, but this would only be temporary. Deviousness would also foment corruption and eventually insurrection. Deviousness is not a good basis for stability. Ruthlessness on the part of the Blood Oak Chapter and the promise of swift and bloody reprisal for disloyalty, just might keep civilian rulers in line.

 

Recruitment: They exclusive recruit from there Space Vessels Crews. In dire Times, they draft additional Menpower from Crusades or Pilgrims.

 

Here, the word "exclusive(ly)" implies that they "always" recruit in this manner. I suggest using the word "primarily". "Menpower" should be replaced by "manpower". Also, I can see recruiting from pilgrims, but a Crusade Warmaster is going to take a dim view of an Astartes chapter attempting to draw from his forces or even civilian retinue. 

 

On the whole, this is quite good, and I'm looking forward to seeing moreyes.gif

 

P.S.

The Daemon conspiracy idea is a good one toothumbsup.gif


Edited by Brother Lunkhead, 20 February 2020 - 01:14 AM.

  • gripschi likes this

sml_gallery_49400_16059_1314.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_25207.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_4939.jpg


#6
gripschi

gripschi

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 137 posts
  • Location:Germany
Your quite Right. I Image them as strong belivers, why i wrote devius is easy. I simply choose the Wrong Word.

Perhaps Zealous fit better.

With Recruitment you spoke a good Point, i thought too, i Limited it there too much.

After all i Vision them to Govenour a little "Empire" togehter with the Church. They build after all Keeps, shame to waste them.

Henens Work, is Solid Fantasy. I would say among the best.
  • Brother Lunkhead likes this

#7
Brother Lunkhead

Brother Lunkhead

    ++ ANTICUS ÆSALON ++

  • ++ MODERATI ++
  • 1,957 posts
  • Location:Radlands of Merica
  • Faction: Praetorian Sword, Ultramarines

"Zealous"........ even betterthumbsup.gif

 

Definitely don't want to waist the Keepsmsn-wink.gif

 

I'll have to check out Hennen nowyes.gif


  • gripschi likes this

sml_gallery_49400_16059_1314.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_25207.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_4939.jpg


#8
gripschi

gripschi

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 137 posts
  • Location:Germany

Long time they got burried here. But finally i had the muse to work on them again.

 

Alltough iam not satisfied, but it is a Start in the Right Way.

 

The Stroy about the Demonic Corrupted Chapter Master, will be flash out properly in the future.

 

Alongside many other details.



#9
gripschi

gripschi

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 137 posts
  • Location:Germany

First update since ages. Sorry for thaht, but live got busy, work too and sometime i simply couldnt work further on it put of dont knowing how to.

 

It is still a early Version, with some parts for now copied out of my other IA. Which will recive hopefully soon a update too.

 

Iam still not 100% sure how i will evolp this.

 

Currently iam think to stick with 2 Chapters, which got devastaded by a Chaos intrigure, choosing to hide the truth, to ensure the sector would not fall in chaos.

 

Which lead to the Idea of "merging" 2 Chapters in 1, which will be technically exceed the 1000 Man limit, but still are on paper 2 chapters. If someone got to eager to dig in this, they tend to get lost or promoted to the side of the empoer.

 

i will flash out a secret Order inside them, called "Blood Circle", composed of Asartes who managed to gain acces to bits of the true History, or show psycic powers, assoicated with the Demon. Maybe something like interfence to eldar. Hinting that the blood line of the demon, still circulate in the sector. This Circles, sole propuse is to gather these individums and deal with them accordingly and prying everywhere to find sings of the return of this demon.

 

I plan to build up a sector, i wrote down allready some ideas. Mostly to incoperate Names and Locations out of the Elvenknight books and lore. Also serving me as a personal piece of work, to use it latter.



#10
Brother Lunkhead

Brother Lunkhead

    ++ ANTICUS ÆSALON ++

  • ++ MODERATI ++
  • 1,957 posts
  • Location:Radlands of Merica
  • Faction: Praetorian Sword, Ultramarines

Hail Brother gripschibiggrin.png

 

Your story is looking very solid and interesting. It's good to see you back with the Knights of the Blood Oakyes.gif

 

First update since ages. Sorry for thaht, but live got busy, work too and sometime i simply couldnt work further on it put of dont knowing how to.

 

Life did indeed get busy. It's been a crazy year. I meant to get back to you sooner on some technical issues here, but as you say, life got busy. Your story looks really good and has a lot of potential. However, your narrative is peppered with grammatical errors. These errors don't impair understanding of your story, but they are a distraction. 

 

Writing in a second language is at best challenging, and on the whole you do a very fine job. Your story telling ability comes across very nicely, so keep at it. We can help with some of the more fine point of the grammar. To save time I'll make a post with all suggested corrections at once and send it here later today or tomorrow. Good luck with this and stay the course. It really is looking goodthumbsup.gif


  • gripschi likes this

sml_gallery_49400_16059_1314.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_25207.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_4939.jpg


#11
gripschi

gripschi

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 137 posts
  • Location:Germany
A the sweet gramatic. To my Defense, German is sometimes a bulky language. Missing school knowledge add peper too.

But i swear on the Emperor, to try to improve it. Maybe writeing on the Night Shift, isnt the best. But i was eager to Post it :)

Thanks in advance for corrections! And for the nice words beside my gramar :)

#12
Brother Lunkhead

Brother Lunkhead

    ++ ANTICUS ÆSALON ++

  • ++ MODERATI ++
  • 1,957 posts
  • Location:Radlands of Merica
  • Faction: Praetorian Sword, Ultramarines

No pressureno.gif ...... I've been doing Russian for decades and I'm still working on itwacko.png

 

Oh, here:

Thanks in advance for corrections! And for the nice words beside my gramar
 

That's spelled g-r-a-m-m-a-ryes.gif laugh.png


  • gripschi likes this

sml_gallery_49400_16059_1314.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_25207.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_4939.jpg


#13
Brother Lunkhead

Brother Lunkhead

    ++ ANTICUS ÆSALON ++

  • ++ MODERATI ++
  • 1,957 posts
  • Location:Radlands of Merica
  • Faction: Praetorian Sword, Ultramarines

As I promised, here are the corrections to your original post. I've covered approximately the first third of the post. I'll cover the remainder over the next few days.

Hidden Content

That should get you started. Don't let all the yellow marks get you down. It's really not as bad as it looks. You get the meaning across in your narrative, and that's the most important part. The rest is mostly about improving grammar to make your narrative clearer and give it some polish as well. Tomorrow, we start with Chapter Culturemsn-wink.gif


Edited by Brother Lunkhead, 15 December 2020 - 06:16 PM.

  • Gamiel and gripschi like this

sml_gallery_49400_16059_1314.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_25207.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_4939.jpg


#14
gripschi

gripschi

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 137 posts
  • Location:Germany

Thanks for your effort.

 

I admit that i have wrote sometimes, chunky stuff. In the aftermath i thnik, god, what did i do.

 

Some answers for your questions/corrections:             

 

(Either omit this description of the Ashen Knights Chapter Master or explain in detail. Less awkward to omit and explain later.)

 

i think i will follow the explain later path. Maybe i omit a seperate part over the chapter masters fall/rise/demise etc.

 

(What kind of demands?) 

 

Good point. Honestly total forgotten to explain it. I envison it similar to the problems during the Great Crusade, as the tihes were bestowed upon recently occupied and conquered worlds. The hungry church eager to bolster its fortune, demand high taxes paied.

 

Overall the people, still see the Ashenknights Master as reasonable leader, which tried to negoiate lower tihes (a bit double play to this time already by him).

 

            

Gene seed, idk why i over capitliazed. Even in german we wrote many words with small letters, i will try to pay more mind to this.

 

Beneath this (Beneath what?), lay the lingering secret of the true identity of the Demons Host. If lifted could destroy the whole Sector.      
 

Beneath the growing unrest and supsion between the factions. A try to suggest there lay deeper reasons in this.

 

 

Over one of your points iam not sure. I itned the merge of the 2 Chapters after the conclusion of the 3 King Battle.

 

One point towards there name, i have the idea, that the Name was suggested after a famous tale over the Founder of the Sector, Tjured. Killed on a Oak, the Ashen Knights, represent the burned down future, the new ones choose as you wrote, to honor his sacrifice.

 

As is said, thanks =)            



#15
Brother Lunkhead

Brother Lunkhead

    ++ ANTICUS ÆSALON ++

  • ++ MODERATI ++
  • 1,957 posts
  • Location:Radlands of Merica
  • Faction: Praetorian Sword, Ultramarines

Over one of your points iam not sure. I itned the merge of the 2 Chapters after the conclusion of the 3 King Battle.

That's fine. Disregard my correction on that. However you need to be clearer on this point. To that end you'll need to explain the 3 King Battle in detail and how this lead to the merging of the two chapters. Also is it "3 King" or "3 Kings"?

 

Okay.... on to Nitpickery Part 2devil.gif Chapter Culture:

Hidden Content

 

Special Note: 'their' versus 'there'

 

Next Episode: Recruitment and Trainingyes.gif 


  • gripschi likes this

sml_gallery_49400_16059_1314.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_25207.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_4939.jpg


#16
gripschi

gripschi

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 137 posts
  • Location:Germany
Thanks again Brother Lunkhead!

I intend to wrote down the Battle. In my Notebook, i have a First Scratch of it. It is the turning Point of the Chapters and Important for the Story itself in my Eyes.

With King or Kings, i will Look which is more fitting.

#17
Brother Lunkhead

Brother Lunkhead

    ++ ANTICUS ÆSALON ++

  • ++ MODERATI ++
  • 1,957 posts
  • Location:Radlands of Merica
  • Faction: Praetorian Sword, Ultramarines

I'm looking forward to your writeup on the 3 King(s) Battle. Looks to be very interesting.


sml_gallery_49400_16059_1314.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_25207.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_4939.jpg


#18
Brother Lunkhead

Brother Lunkhead

    ++ ANTICUS ÆSALON ++

  • ++ MODERATI ++
  • 1,957 posts
  • Location:Radlands of Merica
  • Faction: Praetorian Sword, Ultramarines

Back by popular demandhuh.png

 

Nitpickery Part 3: Recruitment and Training

Hidden Content

 

That's it for now. I hope this is helpful.


  • gripschi likes this

sml_gallery_49400_16059_1314.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_25207.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_4939.jpg


#19
gripschi

gripschi

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 137 posts
  • Location:Germany
It is helpfull. I can use it to correct my other IA.

You Point a good issue with my wording. In this IA i intend to move part of the female recruits to several Adeptus Soritas Orders. Which are in close relation / alliance with the Astartes.

I intend that each Great House maintain several Training Companys (Up to 50 Recruits), which are in different Phase of Training.

Some Things are placeholders, but i intend to keep it, i like the phrasing. Which i lend from the Death Korps and rewrote Part of it.

Thx again and a nice XMas.
  • Brother Lunkhead likes this

#20
gripschi

gripschi

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 137 posts
  • Location:Germany

I have updated the COrrections so far.

 

Here my first draft for the 3 Kings Battle:

 

The 3 King’s Battle

 

During the Height of the religious uproar, caused by the ascension of Sebastian Thor, to a shining figure of Hope. The Church itself fragmented itself in various factions, not all eager to see a new Spiritual Leader and the prospect of loosing there worldly power.

 

Especially the decadent Bishops of the Tjured Sector, all ready concerned by the steadily rise of uproars against the High Tithes which they demand, saw him as a problem. Well aware that there little empire, is hold together through the „Ashen Knights“ Astartes and there charismatic Chapter Master, which they believed firmly under there thump.

 

Unknown to them, they were manipulated through a Greater Demon of Tzeentch, since several centuries. Due to this lingering influence, the Church build a enormousness Palace on the Shrine World Iskendriar. Expanding it slowly ever deeper in the earth beneath it. This constant constructions and digging works, needed a steadily supply of resources and workers. Additional to the ground works, the world is slowly clad in a ring of iron. Evolving in a small fortress world, beside its spiritual worth.

 

After word reached them, that Sebastian Thor emerged, the vicious circle of demands grew to unknown heights. With ever harder hand, the worlds tithes were collected. Several uproars got strike down in bloody manners. Steadily escalating in a Civil War, which involved all Factions.

 

The Ashen Knight Chapter, were divided in 2 factions, the larger around the Chapter Master and the other around the Scriptor Ignazius. The later, got a baleful revelation from a Eldar Farseer, revealing the true Identity of his Chapter Master. He was in truth a Lord of Change, called in human terms, the Boar Headed, which sought to destroy the Eldar. By invading the Webway, through a long forgotten and deeply buried gate on Iskendriar.

 

Should he succeed, the Materium will be tear open, consuming a large part of the Tjured Sector. A future, which had to be avoided at all cost. Even if it means cooperation between them.

 

Grueling Honoree accept the proposal, but he know, that his assets aren’t enough to breach the defence of Iskendriar and to challenge the Demon. Through secret channels, he managed to bring there Brother Chapter, the Knights of the Blood Oak, to join this cause. Shocked from this revelation, they make haste to muster all available Troops and Ships inside there fiefdom. Soon they were in full strength on the move.

 

Together they mustered 1300 Astartes and ten Capital Ships alongside thirty Cruisers and dozens of Escorts and Transporters. Barley the minimum strength they need. But time run out and other options weren’t there.

 

The Farseer promised, that they would assist them upon there arrival at Iskendriar. To there surprise, the Void Defence were already under heavy assault by a unknown Astartes Chapter and several Eldar Vessels. A Massive Ramilies Star Fort, teared the Orbital Defence apart and covered there entrance point. Quickly they join the Battle, secure a path towards the Planet and start landing there ground forces.

 

The „Equites Rhenus“ Chapter, provide after a short conversation a Spear Tip composed of Terminator and Breacher Squads, to break the Defence. The brunt of there force are bound in the Void Battle, where they undertook many boarding actions.

 

Beside the Spear Tip, the Eldar stood truth to there word and provide a small force too. In under a hour the outer Defence of the Palace are broken and fierce CQC envelope the whole palace and soon the excavation site. The human troops, unable to bear the intense fight between the Astartes, secured instead the Palace and took the brunt of the zealous hordes of believers and PDF Troops, which seek to aid there masters.

 

After hours upon hours of intense fighting, the allied forces, which call them selves the „Honorable Convent“, reached the dormant Gate. Finally the Lord of Change, choose to engage them himself. The subsequent battle, took a heavy toll on all sites.

 

In a last struggle, the Psykers, the only ones able to stand there ground, emerge Victorious. With the help of the Farseer, 3 Blades were infused with a fragment of ancient power, able to damage the essence, of the Demon itself.

 

The last strike, wasn’t from the allied forces, it was from the close aid of the Demon, a Psyker called de Troy. He had a hidden 4th sword, bearing the corruption to avenge his Chapter. But a Lord of Change, can’t be destroyed completely. Instead they split him in 5 parts, sealing them in the Blades and in the gate. Which shut down its connection to contain the intruder, but shortly before, he split a small fragment off and escaped. Swearing revenge for this humiliation.

 

The sword were given to the Eldar, which secure them inside safe locations under there overseeing. In the hope to contain him for a long time. Seriously weakened, he would need millennias alone to regain real conciseness again.

 

The Brother Chapters, depleted there Forces to a horrendous degree. Together they could muster around 300 Astartes and a Dozen Psykers. Determine to gain forgiveness before the Emperor, the Ashen Knights, offered to dissolve completely and join the Knights of the Blood Oak. Which was denied by there Chapter Master Honoree. He proposed that they indeed join them, but only superficial.

 

To protect this secret, a hidden House were founded. It’s main duty is to seek out his offspring and contain them, while seeking every rumor out, which can be connected to the Boar Headed.

 

The Sector still need its Protectors, the situation already tense, would it surely tip to much on the other side. The truth, nevertheless, can not be revealed, if the Inquisition caught rumors of it, at least one Chapter will be punished, even the whole sectors destruction are possible.

 

The Chapter Master was instead promoted to a Saint, binding together the Sector once again. After this conclusion, the Church were purged and rebuild with a strong foundation, even a separated administration were formed.

 

The Battle got later called the 3 King’s Battle, refereeing to 3 Astartes Chapters. Beneath this lay a hidden truth. It refer to the 3 Factions which participate in the Battle.

 

 

  Pls just read it, i will reworte it latter. Not necessary to correct it as whole. But pls point out quetions.


  • Bjorn Firewalker likes this

#21
Bjorn Firewalker

Bjorn Firewalker

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 14,301 posts
  • Location:Catachan
  • Faction: Catachan Wolves
The Three Kings' Battle is well thought-out.

By the way, does the "Blood Oak" in the Chapter name refer to a tree with human bodies or body parts nailed to it (see what Arminius did to Roman legionnaires after the Battle of the Teutoburg Forest)? Rituals held on the Chapter planet, to shed blood upon holy trees in order to affirm oaths or to draw the God-Emperor's attention? I'm also reminded of Thomas Jefferson's statement "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."
  • gripschi likes this
Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

#22
gripschi

gripschi

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 137 posts
  • Location:Germany

I tought of a normal tree. Like in Henens Books, were they killed a Saint on a Oak and later burned it down.

 

I intend ti unclude it later in the sectors founding tales. The first Chaper choose to represent the burned down tree. The new ones, choose the blood oak.

 

But you brought a good point up about rituals. Maybe i image some rituals around the aspect of blood.



#23
Bjorn Firewalker

Bjorn Firewalker

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 14,301 posts
  • Location:Catachan
  • Faction: Catachan Wolves

I tought of a normal tree. Like in Henens Books, were they killed a Saint on a Oak and later burned it down.


Say Nurgle worshipers murdered an Imperial saint upon the oak, in an attempt to corrupt the ground the tree grew upon, but the God-Emperor's powers acted through the saint's blood to purify the ground instead, and the cultists burned down the tree in a failed attempt to halt the anti-corruption? That henceforward the oak trees growing on the ground the saint was martyred upon, would have blood-red wood, with which the Chapter honors its Champions by using the sacred wood for these Champions' weapons' grips and handles?
Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

#24
gripschi

gripschi

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 137 posts
  • Location:Germany
Hmh, very good ideas. I will certinaly Work with that. Not Sure how exactly, but that will i figure Out.

Grips Out of this Wood,a fine one. That can be expanded towards many aspects.

Thx for this good Input.

#25
Brother Lunkhead

Brother Lunkhead

    ++ ANTICUS ÆSALON ++

  • ++ MODERATI ++
  • 1,957 posts
  • Location:Radlands of Merica
  • Faction: Praetorian Sword, Ultramarines

Your updates are looking good. I like what you have for the 3 King's (King's?, Kings'?, Kings?,.....unsure.png). I'll comment later, because I know what you are really waiting for.......yes.gif msn-wink.gif

 

Nitpickery Part 4 Homeworld and History:

Hidden Content

 

I generally like the name of your space port/chapter monastery, Raven-tower, but it makes me immediately think of the Raven Guard's Chapter monastery, the Ravenspire. Now ravens prominently appear in many different cultures and mythologies, so I'm not suggesting that you should completely change it. I suggest altering the name by changing the language or altering the name in a way that doesn't look like a variation on Ravenspire. Here are some examples:

  • Raven Tower (Corvo Turrim)
  • Raven's Tower (Corvi Turrim)
  • Tower of the Raven (Corvum a Turre)
  • Tree of the Raven (Corvino Lignum)
  • Raven's Tree (Corvi Ligno)
  • Oak of the Raven/Raven's Oak (Corvi de Quercu)

These are just some variations with rough Latin translations as a High Gothic flavor. You could use any one of these, something else of your own choosing, or even your original name if you think it's closeness to the Raven Guard home name isn't an important issue for you.


sml_gallery_49400_16059_1314.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_25207.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_4939.jpg





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users